We’re so back! The week one power ranking of The Apprentice 2024 candidates

The girls made fishcake crumble and WON? A great series lies ahead

3 months ago

The only thing I look forward to more than the return of The Apprentice is the return of me getting to do my annual weekly power ranking, once again back with a vengeance in 2024. Nothing brings me more joy than watching a bunch of bumbling business wannabe candidates crashing and burning to the most impossible and set-up-to-fail takes Sugar and co can muster up. Come on this show with business dreams of luxury jewellery flogging have you? Well, off you go and cook some food and then we’ll decide if you can get an investment! Everyone flopped this week, as per – which has made doing The Apprentice 2024 power ranking week one a joy. Lets’s get into it, then.

18. Asif

Via BBC

Do you know how embarrassing you have to have been to not get fired but still come bottom of the power ranking? What a mess. What. A. Mess. At least Asif can have peace of mind that he’ll go down in history as the candidate who prematurely clapped when he lost. An absolute nightmare.

#TheApprentice Asif clapping when the figures were read out was hilarious pic.twitter.com/dt7C0Lq6HE

— 3am (@3amthoughtzsx) February 1, 2024

17. Oliver

Via BBC

He turned up, he did nothing, he didn’t know what ‘tbspn’ meant, he went home.

16. Virdi

Via BBC

Is Virdi a DJ, guys? I missed it. He never mentioned it I don’t think. Does he DJ? Verdict’s out.

15. Steve

Via BBC

Steve nearly went home last night. But most importantly, Steve has Darken as his surname. Steve Darken. He must stay in this process so I can make Darken puns until I’ve run out, and then he can be fired.

14. Tre

Via BBC

Seems a bit of a knob if I’m brutally honest, but did think it was funny how seething he got in the boardroom and how he and Virdi were having some competitive, DJ-off despite the fact they were literally on the same team.

13. Flo

Via BBC

“Anyone noticed anything different about this river that they might not have seen before? No? It’s a bit brown!” Iconically shite line from Flo.

12. Rachel

Via BBC

Did absolutely nothing I can even remember this week. Which perhaps in the case of this cast of fools is a blessing. Better to be unnoticed than, say… clap at your own loss.

11. Jack

Via BBC

Don’t think he did anything but moan and look handsome. And I lapped it up!

10. Maura

Via BBC

Jury’s out here but I believe a potential queen looms. Stay tuned.

9. Amina

Via BBC

I feel like this queenie means BUSINESS. Not much to go on yet but I’m seated and ready for her to gobble.

8. Dr Paul

Via BBC

There are two Pauls in the process – Pie Paul and Dr Paul. Dr Paul seems like a sensitive fella and he came across well enough in a disastrous team, but his teeth stole the show. Can tell he’s a cosmetic dentist, let’s just say that.

7. Raj

Via BBC

I predict Raj was going to have a Loose Women energy. I was wrong, but on the right lines: She actually has a This Morning debate energy. Did you see the way she came into that boardroom on FUMES? I need to see her debate Tina Malone about something minor on morning TV as a matter of urgency.

6. Onyeka

Via BBC

The girls’ project manager barely lead them to a victory, but it was very camp that she chose the water activity that she could sit out of because she can’t swim. Work smart, not hard.

5. Phil Pies

Via BBC

One of two pies. Phil Pies, we’ll call him. Southern pies. Came across very well albeit potentially a bit boring. Lord Sugar was gobbling his vibes up like a pie I’ll tell you that for free. Will be around for a while I reckon, and considering he is quite frankly very sexy I am not complaining.

4. Paul Pies

Via BBC

Northern charm, pie making pizazz and a general air of likability – I’m sat. We wish him well.

3. Foluso

Via BBC

Reaches top three of The Apprentice power ranking 2024 week one purely for the iconic line that was “It’s NOT local cream! Tesco x.”

2. Sam

Via BBC

I love how wheeler dealer she seems. The female incarnation of Thomas Skinner we all needed. BOSH!

1. Noor

Via BBC

An absolute no-nonsense Scouse queen who takes no shit and seems like she has her head fully screwed on? Of COURSE she’s my winner. Pride of place on top of The Apprentice 2024 week one power ranking.

The Apprentice 2024 Series 18 continues on Thursdays on BBC One and BBC iPlayer – for all the latest reality TV and entertainment news, memes and gossip, like Pop Culture Shrine on Facebook. Featured image courtesy of the BBC.