‘Middle aged Love Island’ is here! But why does My Mum, Your Dad have to be so boring?

This show treats the sexy parents like pensioners and they deserve better

8 months ago

Davina McCall has been fighting for a “middle aged Love Island” for bloody ages. She’s made no secret of her hunger to get the mums and the dads coupled up, often barking on about it from her Twitter account. Her wish was granted yesterday. Well, sort of. After a pretty excellent season of Love Island this year, ITV are swooping right in to give us My Mum, Your Dad – hailed by The McCall as “an unmissable two week event of television”. The problem is, unfortunately, that it’s very missable. It exists to be missed. The first episode of My Mum, Your Dad was a boring hour of beige nothingness, Heart FM core that sucked the life out of the formula before it even began.

My Grandma, Your Grandad

The problem with My Mum, Your Dad is that everyone involved in the making of this show has just completely misunderstood the assignment. Of course, as I write this, we’ve only got the pilot to go off – but still. When we bemoan the lack of older people on Love Island, I literally mean I’m bemoaning the lack of them on that show. That specific vibe of dating show. What we didn’t mean was sort of half commit to the shtick, but suck all of the sex appeal and fun out of it. Instead of a scorching hot villa in the Med, My Mum, Your Dad sends the middle aged lot to a boring house in the countryside somewhere that quite honestly could be mistaken for a retirement home.

My Mum, Your Dad has cast a bunch of the sexiest mummies and daddies I’ve honestly ever seen. I’m not joking, all of them are seriously hot. They deserve to be sizzling in pre-loved eBay bikinis with Maya Jam ordering them around a fire pit. Not this overly polite snooze fest we’ve got instead.

ITV have tried to keep it switched up by, unbeknownst to the parents, keeping their children in a second house nearby who get to watch and “cringe” at their parents every move. I put cringe in quotations because there’s not much cringe that happens, they just all are quite polite and nice to each other. One mum makes a joke about falling and landing on top of one of the dads and that’s about as riotous and raunchy as this show dares to tread.

The inclusion of the kids could have been an absolute hoot. I’m thinking like Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents but in reverse. Imagine the carnage. It’s a shame this show is so committed to keeping the parents locked in a retirement home and letting them indulge in nothing wilder than a lamb shank roast.

I think this cast of lovely, very hot and sexy parents deserve their fun. My mum is of the age and gorgeousness of all the mums on this show, and she loves getting drunk and holidaying in her bikinis. If she was cast on this, she’d be bored to tears. They deserve to be causing havoc in Casa Amor, but instead, Davina McCall and ITV have shipped these hapless mums and dads off to Casa Abore. Free them.

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