This is definitively the political party you vote for, based on your favourite Christmas chocolate

There’s a lot about people’s Christmas preferences that tell you how they vote – gammon on their Christmas dinner is UKIP through and through; nut roast is very Lib Dem; and anyone who actually likes Christmas pudding is clearly a Tory. And you may not realise it, but Christmas chocolates and political stances actually go hand in hand. In fact, there’s perhaps nothing more scientifically accurate in this entire world. Someone’s favourite festive chocolate simply says so much about you, and from that we can definitively say which UK political party you vote for:

Tories – Quality Street

We all saw this one coming first, right? Quality Streets are painfully Conservative. There’s nothing more Tory than weird names like “the purple one” that don’t actually tell you a single thing about the chocolate you’re about to bite into. Plus it contains the strawberry creme, which is quite possibly the worst Christmas choc of all time.

Lib Dems – Heroes

With Lib Dems, you know what you’re getting because they’re the same all year round. Plain and simple, just like Heroes. And because of this, the novelty wears off too quickly and they become very sickly.

Labour – Celebrations

The creme de la creme of Christmas chocolate and objectively the least awful out of the major political parties. Sure, not every one of the chocolates in a Celebrations tub are amazing (I’m looking at you, Bounty) but you can’t win at everything, just like Labour.

 

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UKIP – Roses

If you like Roses then you’re a UKIP voter through and through. Roses are undoubtedly shit-tier chocolate. They have nothing going for them. I’ll tell you who enjoys a tin of Roses at Christmas, your weird uncle who voted for Brexit. You know it and I know it.

Green Party – Terry’s Chocolate Segsations

The Green Party are fairly straight to the point really, hence the Segsations. A Green voter enjoys the thrill of selection but is too scared to shy away from the faithful Terry’s Chocolate Orange. It’s a staple. Plus it resembles an orange, which they definitely get a kick out of every single year.

Scottish National Party – chocolate liqueurs

If you’re an SNP voter then you’re the only person ever to enjoy the foul taste of whiskey inside dark chocolate – or at the very least, convincingly pretend to enjoy it, because who actually does? You also have the energy of the kid who pretends to be wasted when they find out there’s a tiny dash of wine in their Spag Bol. At least the boozy chocs will keep you warm on those cold Scottish nights.

BNP – After Eights

I feel like After Eights would smoke a cigar, have stained red wine teeth and definitely speak far too closely to my face. If you enjoy After Eights then you must also enjoy playing devil’s advocate at Christmas and you’re a bit too keen on getting out Cards Against Humanity.

Featured image background via Kieran White/Unsplash; overlays via Tejas Sandhu/SOPA Images/Shutterstock, SWNS, Sainsbury’s

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