The 39 tragic things all girls in the noughties couldn’t live without

Remember when getting ready in the morning consisted of whacking on a fresh layer of Dream Matte Mouse, clumping up your eyelashes with some cheap mascara, throwing on the latest Tammy sale garms and giving yourself a quick spray of Charlie pink? Ahh, the good ol’ days.

Everything was so much easier back then. And for some reason every, and I mean literally every, girl growing up in the noughties owned the same things. Can someone explain to me why the following 39 items became a staple for us all? I’m still confused.

Torn out Mizz Magazine pages on your wall

But not the cringe section cos that was about BOYS and PERIODS and it would be mortifying if mum realised you were reading about either of those topics. 

Those scoobies things you’d make with plastic in school and give to all your mates

Can someone please tell me why these ever became a thing? 

A Tamagotchi 

Every single person in the world owned a Tamagotchi. It was our first idea of what it was like to be completely responsible for something. The best part was when the matchmaker came and it had babies, which is strange to think back on, but so much fun. 

A full collection of Sims expansion packs

The top spot on the Christmas and birthday list every year was the newest Sims expansion pack to come out. If you got it for Christmas, it was downloaded there and then (even if it was 3am) so you could carry on your career as a sadistic psychopath murdering people in the pool and cheating via motherlode…but this time with a puppy, thanks Sims Pets expansion pack!!!!!!!

Anything from Tammy

Remember the khaki green phase you went through where every single thing you wore was a different shade of green? 

Charlie spray

When you were in the region of ages 7-10, Charlie spray was what a Jo Malone perfume means to you now. It was fresh, it was sophisticated, it was your scent. You felt so grown up layering it all over yourself, and it took pride in your room next to the Barry M nail polish. 

Impulse spray

If you didn’t own Charlie Spray, this was the next best thing. Tbh, the pink and white one did smell amazing. Would probably still wear now. 

Any of the following books:

The Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging series, the Princess Diaries books, A Series of Unfortunate Events series or every Jacqueline Wilson book. Literature was my passion x

Bang On The Door duvet covers

If you didn’t love Bang On The Door and Groovy Chic were you even growing up in the noughties? 

Dream Matte Mousse

It was very important that it was in an orange shade (you thought it made you look like you’d just come back from a two week family holiday to Majorca – it did not), and caked on about one centimetre thick. 

A fluffy pencil case

It would probably also have glitter that slowly disintegrated off but it didn’t matter because you were cool and had a fluffy pencil case. 

A complete set of gel pens and if you were boujee it was the Staedtler Fineliners

The girl who whipped out her full collection of 20 fineliners was the envy of the entire classroom. And don’t ever think she would let you borrow one. 

One of those weird lock journals that opened by your voice

This kept your inner darkest secrets. Mainly who you fancied at school and their name written with loads of hearts around it, but secrets nonetheless. It was super encrypted and only opened when your specific voice said a certain word. If you were particularly extra you got one of those magic invisible pens to write in it too, which only showed up when you shine a light on it. 

A really clumpy Miss Sporty mascara 

Your pocket money could only stretch to the £3 one in Boots, I’ll let you off. 

A pink flip phone 

Probably a Motorola or an LG Cookie, and you begged your parents for one for the soul purpose of being able to dramatically open it in front of everyone, of course. 

One of those electric crazy braid things that said it braided your hair but actually it just ripped it out

I can still feel the pain now. 

A Jane Norman bag

Exclusively used for carrying your PE kit.

Anything from Jack Wills

It was glorified overpriced basic clothing and yet you wouldn’t have survived year eight without a Jack Wills hoodie. Oh and you obvs got the catalogue delivered. 

Some sort of lava lamp or your bedroom simply wasn’t complete

I could watch the lava go up and down all day. Also is it just me or did everyone go to at least one sleepover where the lava lamp got smashed and the host went in a mood with everyone??? Just wondering. 

Too many bottles of Barry M crackle nail varnish in various colours that all looked equally as shit 

You know like when your nail varnish chips or smudges and it looks really ugly and you desperately want to take it off and redo? Yeah, we used to pay to get this effect – like a lot of money as well.

Body glitter roll ons

These tiny little tubes of wet body glitter were bought in excess for your first year seven disco. You’d slather that stuff on as if it was really going to get you all the boys. Also probably explains why we’re so obsessed with highlighter years later. 

Glitter hairspray

Well it would be weird for your body to just be covered in glitter.

Bath pearls

Those squidgy little balls you bought from The Body Shop or Sephora if you got them on holiday. You’d run yourself a bath and feel like the elegant and sophisticated lady.

A hair braid done on the family holiday in Spain

You begged and begged your mum to pay for your hair to be wrapped around in cheap colourful threads. You thought you looked like you had come straight out of a Britney video, when in reality you just had one bit of really colourful hair that would probably go a bit manky after the suncream, sweat and chlorine from your all inclusive holiday.

A BFF necklace brought with your best friend in Claire’s

Claire’s Accessories was the noughties girl’s heaven. And buying a BFF necklace with your best friend was a rite of passage. No betrayal ever hurt as deep as when your supposed best friend went off with Jessica the following month to get one with her. 

A book pencil case

Yeah you know the one where it was a zipped rectangle and opened up like a mini briefcase to reveal your incredibly organised stationery. Only the elite had these. 

A mood ring

If you had one of these you probably read tarot cards and are a vegan now. Obviously they did nothing but you were convinced you could read everyone’s emotions at break in the playground. 

A pink Nintendo DS

It was pink or nothing, tbh. You’d take pride in looking after your Nintendogs which probably all had themed names like all beginning with T or every dog being named after your favourite things and you would spend HOURS playing on it, every single day. 

A Stardoll account

Your username would be your childhood nickname or your name plus “xxxxx” because all the others were taken, but it didn’t matter because your Stardoll girl was a Superstar, even if you paid with your last bit of pocket money to make her that. You’d dress all the celebs up in the latest garms and pretend they had date night coming up so needed the best dress ever. Ugh take me back to the simple days.  

A stackable pencil

Name something more fun than constantly inserting the tiny lead in and out of your pencil, so you could always ensure you had the sharpest end. 

A headband with your name on

You were basically the OG Blair Waldorf. The headband either involved your name being sewn or drawn on with one of these special pens and you nearly always got them from some fete or fair. 

A flower crown

Carole Baskin? I like invented her, you know what I mean?

A load of stickers 

These would usually be brought from PaperChase and plastered all over your notebook. They were ugly, expensive and always left a horrible gluey residue when you tried to peel them off. 

Squidgy colourful earrings 

Usually the spiky balls from Claire’s. Why on earth did we want to subject our ears to these monstrosities?

Clip in colourful hair extensions

They hardly ever stayed in, hurt your head but they were the height of fashion so you just had to roll with it. 

Top Trumps

No holiday, school trip or car journey was complete without these bad boys. From Harry Potter to Disney to Dog Breeds – it was the game that beat them all. 

A pair of Uggs

If you were lucky you got the real ones. But most of us just collected several fake pairs from Primark, which always gave you wet toes when it rained and made you walk at an angle after wearing them in. But it was fashion nonetheless. 

A candle making kit

Who did we think we were? Jo Malone? These candles never lasted long and the sickly sweet smell in a little jar was the go to gift for mum. 

Lip Smackers lip balm

Why is bad quality lip balm so much more appealing when it’s in a tube covered in Fanta or CocaCola? Probably because it tastes vaguely like the drinks. And why did we think it was acceptable to eat a little bit? I’m disgusted with myself. 

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