Lecturer reveals every piece of diss feedback they ‘want to write but professionally cannot’

We’re currently in the thick of that really painful period between completing your dissertation and waiting for it to be marked.

While we’re anxiously waiting to see if all the hours were worth it, the markers are actually starting their hard work.

In a recent Reddit post, an anonymous lecturer shared all the things they wanted to say after marking 200 dissertations, but weren’t allowed to. As they phrased it, the following seven entries will be what they “actually want to write but professionally cannot.”

1. Your introduction is four pages of you clearing your throat

Ah, the introduction. An eternal battle between fighting the “in this essay, I will” demons but still trying to describe what you will do in the essay.

On the topic of introductions, our trusty anonymous lecturer said: “Your introduction is four pages of you clearing your throat. Just tell me what you are doing and why. If your first proper sentence is on page five, something has gone badly wrong.”

Imagine reading one of those academic journal articles where you have to pay to read past page three and those pages are all yappy introductions! Do your markers a favour and get them going from the very start. No better way to make them like you than to save them time, after all.

2. A long bibliography is not a personality trait

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If you don’t keep up with your references from the start, you’re just causing yourself pain later. Also, stop finding references after you’ve written because this lecturer finds it blatantly obvious:

“You have 47 references and have actually engaged with three. A long bibliography is not a personality trait. What did you actually think of any of it?”

Shoehorning in someone else’s words to your argument won’t get you marks here… and neither will finding a ton of sources and ignoring them all. 

3. In today’s society is not an opening. It’s a cry for help

Cliche phrases are just a way of life at this point (see what I did there?). Especially for humanities dissertations, you may be tempted to use a phrase such as “in today’s society” to describe, well, what happens in today’s society. 

However, according to this lecturer: “In today’s society is not an opening. It is a cry for help. Delete it. Every time. Without mercy.”

That’s rough. Alas, if this anonymous lecturer sees it as a cry for help after marking over 200 dissertations then maybe kicking it out is the right thing to do. Hello, “in a contemporary society,” welcome to my bank of cliches.

4. Your methodology reads like you’re trying to convince yourself

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Remember, your dissertation shouldn’t come across as a plea to be understood, and neither should your methodology.

The lecturer points out: “Your methodology reads like you are trying to convince yourself. Pick a method. Defend it briefly. Move on. We are not in the courtroom.”

Unless you do law, that is, then maybe defending your methodology makes you seem professional? Whatever, if you look like you’re learning on the job while writing your dissertation, that clearly raises red flags. Take your methodology in your stride and act like you were right all along.

5. This conclusion is just your intro wearing a different coat

Conclusions are like the evil twin of introductions. However, this anonymous marker argues we should drop that idea when it comes to writing them.

“This conclusion is just your introduction wearing a different coat. A conclusion should make me think. Yours made me check how many pages were left.”

Ouch. Coming from someone who copied and pasted their introduction at the bottom of their dissertation and rewrote it for the conclusion, that’s a huge warning sign. It’s clear by this point that the marker is getting a bit tired of your word count, so be nice to them in the conclusion. A fun idea wouldn’t go a miss, I suppose.

6. I can tell exactly which paragraph you wrote at 3am

Student life revolves around one thing: Sleep. Or lack thereof. So if you’re pulling an all-nighter right before the deadline, they can really tell, apparently.

“I can tell exactly which paragraph you wrote at 3am.” We all can. The vibe shift is not subtle. Your supervisor noticed. Your examiner will too.”

Slightly harsh but also most likely very true. Give yourself time. An hour here and there across the year makes your diss a lot less painful than if you were to spend 100 hours doing it in the last few weeks.

7. Just stop apologising in every paragraph

The concept of a dissertation is really scary but don’t worry, thousands of students complete one every single year, and you’re absolutely not alone. Sometimes, the hardest part is finding where to start.

Our lecturer has very kindly told us: “Anyway. Back to it. If you are writing one right now you are doing better than you think. Just stop apologising in every paragraph and say what you actually mean.”

A win is a win. Happy diss marking season, and may the marks be ever in your favour.

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Featured image via Unsplash