Things that feel oddly productive to Glasgow students but are absolutely not

Picture it: Exams are looming, the library is filling up, and you walk into the JMS  to see the stress-ridden faces of students who can feel the academic pressure resurfacing. Maybe everyone else’s stress is latching onto you, or maybe you have just seen an email about an upcoming assignment. Either way, you feel it too.

It’s one thing to feel productive, but actually being productive is a different ball game. Uni students are seasoned professionals when it comes to pretending to be productive. Sitting at your desk and staring at your open laptop is not productive, but hey, at least it’s open!

1. Purging old screenshots

Three essays due and two exams to sit, and yet here we are, deciding that right now is the perfect time to clear out those ancient screenshots. Who knows, maybe you’ll come across some revision notes? It’s the thought that counts anyway. Despite all that work slowly piling up, those Instagram carousels won’t curate themselves.

2. Elaborate to-do lists

Breaking out that one notebook you bought in September when you told yourself you would be organised this year feels productive, but unless you actually start studying with it, it’s not. Are most of the pages empty? Yes. Was the motivation there at the time? Absolutely. Plus, putting “make to-do list” as the first task on your to-do list and immediately crossing it off definitely calms the sense of dread you feel when none of the other tasks have been completed. And who knows, maybe that unused notebook will come in handy with your plans to become an academic weapon next year

3. Video essays and new books

Watching multiple video essays on productivity seems productive at the time. Finally picking up that book you bought six months ago and never read seems perfect after watching a video essay on productivity and new skills. But starting a new book from page one or learning the fundamentals of yoga when you have four assignments due in two weeks might not be as productive as you think.

4. The big wardrobe clear-out

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Colour coding, folding, and rearranging every going-out top from first year is a recurring theme when exams are looming over us. What starts as a declutter quickly turns into an overwhelming pile of clothes everywhere. Somehow, you now have more work to do than what you started with.

5. Making yet another study playlist

Never mind the seven other study playlists you’ve made over the course of the past five months. This will definitely be the one to give you the burst of inspiration you need to sit down and concentrate, without an Instagram break every 10 minutes.

6. Staring at the Word doc

And the Oscar for “best performative productivity” goes to…

The sudden burst of motivation that doing all of the above provided you with lasts about as long as it takes to find an empty seat in the library. Despite the cloudy trek from your flat, the curated setup with your go-to caffeinated beverage and study snacks for extra fuel, and your seven-hour playlist, the academic ambience isn’t enough to keep you locked in. But at least you got your steps in??

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