Ranking the West End beer gardens

Now that classes have ended and the sun is slowly creeping out, it’s time to indulge in one of life’s greatest pleasures: a beer garden.

Glasgow’s West End has a lot to choose from, but after some serious journalistic scrutiny and intensive alcoholic research, we have managed to rank them for you.

The ‘only if you’re desperate’ tier

Starting with the beer gardens that you can probably skip:

Lewbowskis and Dirty Duchess – right next to each other on Argyle Street, so I’m grouping them together. Near the corner shop if you get peckish but too small. They need more tables. Also, right next to quite a busy road so unless you enjoy the smell of petrol with your drink, its probably best to sit inside.

The Crescent – Next to the hotel if that’s something that appeals? Otherwise, barely any seats and arguably doesn’t even count as a beer garden.

Park Bar – my favourite West End pub as the interior is so cutesy, but alas there are not nearly enough seats outside, and the tables are much too skinny. Where shall all my many many friends sit?

Not enough space for all her many friends!

The Islay Inn – Although I desperately love their pub quizzes every Wednesday, the lack of outdoor seating is a bit tragic.

The Finnieston – The seafood dinners are delicious, but as a pub garden the Finnieston ranks low. There are some nice booth seats though, and I always appreciate a little privacy with my pint.

The Gardener – Another Ashton Lane pub, with the same issues of very public and very limited outdoor seating. However they do have upstairs outdoor seating which is objectively very cool.

Ubiquitous Chip – Fantastic food and a rooftop garden (!!), but very expensive. Seating is a bit limited – as can be expected on Ashton Lane – but the vibes are good.

The ‘I will be perfectly happy to meet my friends here, but won’t say no to somewhere else’ tier

Record Factory – There is quite a decent amount of space, but drinks are expensive outside of the mid-week deals and you can’t hear anything inside if they’ve got a gig on.

Cottiers – Beautiful interior, and you get to look at the pretty church when sitting outside too. Not a crazy amount of seating, but there’s usually a spare table.

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Brewhaus – Supposedly delicious food (according to a more well-versed pub-goer than I am). There are however cute little huts to snuggle up in outside so I will rank Brewhaus highly.

Innis and Gun – much like the rest of the pubs on Ashton Lane, the outdoor seating area is quite small and very public. Make sure not to drop full names if you’re chatting shit about someone you know. Lovely benches though, and of course the lights on Ashton Lane have been featured on every single Glasgow Uni student’s Instagram at least once.

Oran Mor – There is so much space inside and some beautiful stain-glass windows (thanks to the building being an old converted church) – but as a pub garden? Seating is a bit limited, and its so busy you are unlikely to get a good seat.

Hillhead Bookclub – If you want to seem a little bit pretentious, its perfect. If you can actually fight your way into a seat outside its great, and the fires keep you toasty warm. Also opposite Nandos if you get peckish (if they serve beer at Nando’s, can I count the outside seating as a beer garden?). The inside is amazing though. Ping-pong, retro computer games, and a discoball. They also do great cocktails.

The ‘I will fight someone for a seat here’ tier

Jinty McGuiny’s – So much seating, and the live music is always excellent. It’s always very busy so you might have to fight your way to a seat, however I am reliably informed that the prices are decent, and its an overall great time.

Inn Deep – Immaculate vibes. Nice and shady. Glasgow weather is reliably unreliable so if it rains, you can shelter. There’s also plenty of tables with nice scenic views. The river however, means it can get quite  mosquito-y.

Vodka Wodka – So much outside seating. Bit difficult to navigate after several pints, but the fires are warm and cosy. Of course, there is also the massive appeal of being able to take an Instagram-worthy photo of Ashton Lane too.

Brel – The same as Vodka Wodka but only for those of us with a trust fund.

Old School House – I have been reliably informed by a local football lad that OSH is great for watching the sport, even if you’re outside. I have absolutely no interest in the rugby (dont fight me please), but there are SO many tables here, and the privacy of the booths outside is excellent. The ability to order your next pint on your phone is also a plus for anyone else who likes to be very lazy (me).

So, what is the Ultimate Pub Garden?

As much as I love Old Schoolhouse, there is in fact a far superior beer garden that every student should utilise during their university career. It’s not your friend’s balcony, or the Kelvin Court courtyard (both dear to my heart), but is in fact…

Kelvingrove Park!

There’s always a seat, and it can accommodate every friend you could possibly have, and still have room for every person you have ever seen on campus or been in a seminar group with, and all of their aunties too! You can suntan, admire the beautiful views of nature, and get hungry from smelling all the barbeques. Plenty of more active things to do as well: playing tennis (you must provide your own racket), playing football (you must provide your own ball), feeding the pigeons (you must provide the bird feed), and many more! Of course, The Tab would never endorse public drinking, so you should only drink soft drinks here… wink wink.

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