Ok if you do 20/38 of these high maintenance things, you’re having a posh girl Halloween

She’ll tell you Halloween “isn’t really her thing” while wearing a corset, kitten heels and Byredo. Her costume cost more than your entire student loan instalment and she’s still calling it “low effort”. The posh girl comes alive at Halloween – every chick flick is more than proof.

Here are the peak posh girl things to do this Halloween. If you tick more than three, you’re not mysterious, you’re minted.

1. You went as Clueless with the flat

Matching plaid skirts, white knee socks, hair perfectly blow-dried. You called it a “throwback” but everyone knows it was a full production.

2. You say ‘I’m not really dressing up this year’

Then show up in lace gloves, a satin corset and £30 worth of eyeliner. Right, sure.

3. Bringing rosé to pres

And not the £4 bottle from Sainsbury’s – it’s whispering angel at whispering volume. You ask for a wine glass at someone else’s flat.

4. Saying Halloween is ‘too American’

But your Pinterest board has been titled spooky chic x since September. You’re not fooling anyone.

5. Saying you ‘just threw this on’

You tried on six outfits and made your entire flat rate them. But sure, spontaneous.

6. The posh girl’s Halloween costume has gloves – obviously

No one knows why, but they’re definitely from & Other Stories. And they’re not touching a Jägerbomb.

7. You just don’t queue for clubs

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Not because you’re on the guest list — because you’ll just go home instead. Dignity over effort, always.

8. You say ‘it’s giving’ five times before leaving

“It’s giving mysterious.” “It’s giving sexy Morticia.” It’s giving exhausting.

9. Dressing up for the walk to pres

Big coat, tiny bag, sunglasses even though it’s 9pm. You’re not in Soho — you’re in Selly Oak.

10. You did a pumpkin patch trip ‘as a joke’

Then posted a photo dump called patch girl. With the pumpkin emoji, obviously.

11. Wearing perfume to the club

And reapply it in the queue. £110 worth of fragrance to go home by 1am.

12. You’re not ‘out out’ — you’re at a Halloween supper club

It’s in a warehouse, it’s £35 a head, and the cocktails are all smoked. You call it “elevated spooky”.

13. You say ‘we’re doing witch but fashion’

So basically: Long black dress and a hat. Original.

14. You call pres a ‘soirée’

There’s a table runner, themed cupcakes and moody lighting. Someone’s played Monster Mash for irony.

15. You own multiple feather boas

And you describe the black one as “versatile”. It lives on your headboard.

16. You won’t wear fake blood

“It’s bad for my skin” — okay Gwyneth. You’re going as a vampire but won’t even commit to fangs.

17. You pay with a Revolut card

Tucked inside a Mulberry phone case. The cashier definitely rolled their eyes.

18. You go as a black cat every year

Because it “always works”. And you already own the ears.

19. You say ‘spooky season’ like it’s a personality

You’ve had a Halloween highlight since 2019. It’s giving archive curator.

20. You order a Pornstar Martini on a Halloween night out

In a plastic cup. For £12.

21. You call your cape a ‘cloak’

Because it sounds classier. And it’s silk, obviously.

22. You wear a corset and say it’s ‘historical’

You’re not doing Bridgerton, babe. You’re just cold.

23. You bring a mirror to pres

With built-in LED lights and “touch-up” settings. It’s the main event of the night.

24. You refuse to drink from a can

Even if it’s just Aldi Prosecco. It must go in a flute.

25. You hosted a Halloween brunch

Pumpkin pancakes, cinnamon lattes, everyone forced to wear black. You printed menus. For brunch.

26. You’ve said ‘Halloweekend’ 15 times this month

It’s not a weekend, it’s a rebrand. And it started on the 23rd.

27. You wear tulle

Just tulle. No explanation.

28. You captioned your post ‘boujee spooky’

You were in a Reformation dress and mesh gloves. We’ve seen it.

29. You did a themed yoga class

It was called “Haunted Flow” and cost £18. You said it “centred your energy”.

30. You said ‘Morticia energy’ but you just wore eyeliner

You were basically just in a Zara dress and some sass. But you sold it like you were on a runway.

31. Wearing a claw clip with a veil

Two aesthetics. Zero cohesion.

32. Carving a pumpkin for your story

Then left it on the windowsill for six weeks. Positively rotting.

33. You’ve never entered a Halloween megastore

Everything you need is “already in your wardrobe”. Which is terrifying in its own way.

34. Making a group Pinterest board

The title? Spook girl aesthetics. Someone colour-coded it.

35. You listened to a Lana Del Rey Halloween playlist

It had thunder noises and slowed down TikTok edits. You called it “witchy core”.

36. Wearing red lipstick and calling it vampire

There were no fangs. Just vibes.

37. You put glitter on your collarbones

“Just to add some sparkle.” Now it’s in your bedsheets forever.

38. You went home by midnight

But posted pics at 3am with the caption “chaotic”. You literally left before the second round of shots.

You’re not scaring anyone but you are serving posh. And that might be worse.