YouTubers Dan and Phil reveal the real reason they kept their relationship a secret for 16 years

Daniel Howell and Philip Lester, known on YouTube as Dan and Phil, have finally revealed their relationship after 16 years of rumours, speculation, and conspiracy theories.

Dan and Phil hailed from that super-nostalgic golden era of YouTube. Zoella and Alfie Deyes were in the earliest days of their relationship, Troye Sivan was not yet a pop star, and everyone from Connor Franta to Joey Graceffa was posting coming-out videos.

Dan and Phil were front and centre during that era, and while everyone fully believed they were in a relationship, they had always rejected those rumours. Dan came out as gay in 2019, with Phil following with a coming-out video of his own just a few months later. Even then, and despite batting for the same team, they were not in a public relationship.

That all changed this week when, in a new YouTube video, they said: “We fell into it hard and fast in 2009, and here we are almost 16 years later.”

Since 2019, Dan has been incredibly open about being trapped in that infamous closet, but that wasn’t always the case.

“Everyone was wondering ‘what’s going on in Dan Howell’s personal life’, all these conspiracy theories and it was this weird elephant in the room that I wasn’t talking about,” he explained. “The reality is, I was dealing with so much internalised homophobia because of my childhood, that was such a huge thing for me to confront.”

DAN AND PHIL CONFIRMED OM THE INTERNET THAT THEY HAVE BEEN DATINF FOR 16 YEARS pic.twitter.com/q9cSb7DxuO

— dauntless declan (@ganseyfromme) October 13, 2025

Though no one in the LGBTQ+ community should feel the need to come out, a running question throughout their careers has been around hiding it. If the vast majority of their fandom was certain of their romantic connection, why did Dan and Phil keep their dating life a secret?

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Dan and Phil did not reveal their relationship for business reasons

Though internalised homophobia was a major factor in keeping their relationship a secret, Dan and Phil also considered the effect it could have on their YouTube careers. They wanted to be known as a comedy duo, and not boyfriends.

phil is dan’s first boyfriend, real best friend, ray of light, safe space, companion through life, his actual soulmate pic.twitter.com/kTUwyYGDsi

— alessita ♡ (@mysweetalessita) October 13, 2025

“Who’s to say there’s anything wrong with having the cute gay couple show? It’s just that we wanted the focus to be on what we were doing,” Dan said, as Phil echoed with, “Being funny, entertaining. Let’s be honest, there’s a lot of homophobia out there.”

Though being queer is no walk in the park in 2025, going back just 10 years, there was also the “homophobia” to consider. A large portion of their subscribers were straight, and Dan and Phil felt as though their relationship would “make them uncomfortable.”

Regardless of their reasons, I’m just glad we weren’t all crazy.

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Featured image credit: Dan and Phil/YouTube