A very thorough analysis of precisely which Jellycat every Russell Group uni would be

Nobody asked for this, yet here it is. We have painstakingly assigned each Russell Group uni with a spirit Jellycat which best represents its vibe. Enjoy. I honestly put more thought into this article than I put into my whole Master’s degree.

University of Birmingham – Ramone Bull

Her tail has a lil tassel

Brum has a whole thing about bulls. Obviously, the uni’s spirit Jellycat should be Ramone Bull, who’s infinitely better looking than that weird bull sculpture at the train station.

University of Bristol – Fergus Frog

I don’t get it, but I have legit seen people pay £700+ for a secondhand toy that’s now being sold new for £28

Bristol students are all obsessed with Tribe of Frog. Plus, there was an era when Fergus Frogs were seen as super rare and special and were sold for crazy amounts. But now this Jellycat has been resurrected, they’re very easy to acquire. I feel this is representative of how artsy hippie Bristol students believe they’re super special and are not like other girls, but can actually now be found on high streets all over the UK.

Cardiff University – Darvin Dragon

I wanna stroke the wings so bad

Obviously, the one Welsh Russell Group uni should get to be a dragon. Darvin has the right red colouring for the Welsh flag and for Cardiff University’s logo. He just looks so ready to listen sympathetically to everyone’s problems (and Cardiff Uni has had quite a lot of problems this year).

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University of Cambridge – Bashful Owl

They’re cute but have they ever cleaned a toilet themselves? (Probably not)

Owls are supposed to be symbolic of wisdom, but actually aren’t as clever as other birds like crows and parrots. This feels like a good comparison to University of Cambridge students. Cambridge is apparently the best and brainiest uni in the UK. Yet the majority of Cambridge students seem incapable of operating ovens or making conversation about anything other than essay deadlines.

Durham University – Amuseables Sports Rugby Ball

This one would make a good footrest

The stereotype is that Durham is stuffed with rugby boys and horse girls, and I have yet to find any evidence to contradict this. I guess there isn’t much to do in Durham other than to join a uni sports club and get way too emotionally invested in it.

University of Edinburgh – Nessie Nessa

This is Renesmee and she is the love of my life (no exaggeration)

Edi is the closest uni to Loch Ness, so gets the huge honour of being Nessie Nessa. Congrats.

University of Exeter – Odell Octopus

You could use the tentacles to store all your signet rings

Exmouth beach is pretty much the only exciting thing about this uni, hence the beach-themed Jellycat. Plus, a lot of Exetaaaaaaah students probably have the disposable income and the space in their mansions for a £120, 86cm octopus.

University of Glasgow – Amuseables Storm Cloud

Poor lil bean needs a TLC evening and a Love Island marathon

Glasgow is the rainiest Russell Group uni. The Amuseables Storm Cloud should feel right at home up there. Plus, a lot of Glasgow students really do look like this at their Thursday 9am lectures.

Imperial College London – Betty Corgi

She’s 32cm tall (really)

Imperial is in Kensington (one of the fanciest areas of London) and was founded by Prince Albert. This has strong corgi energy. Plus, Imperial is the best Russell Group uni for grad jobs, and you’ll need a high-paying job to afford the gigantic £70.00 Betty Corgi.

King’s College London (KCL) – Lambeth Lemming

She looks scared to have her photo taken

Some of King’s is in Lambeth, and loads of students live in that part of London.

Plus, Lambeth Lemming’s description on the website reads: “Lambeth Lemming is huge on the design scene. A placement in Norway sparked a long-term love affair with minimalism, and she’s now built a loyal following as a chic interiors influencer. Think neutral palettes, cosy hygge, gentle candlelight… Fellow design enthusiast, White Owl, shares her styling approach, and the two regularly exchange mood boards and curtain swatches (by post – Lambeth insists it’s more romantic). Always two steps ahead on paint trends, Lambeth proves that less really is more – except when it comes to scented candles!”

This is exactly the same unnecessary pick-me energy that King’s students have. A perfect pairing.

University of Leeds – Glamorama Cat

What a diva

This classy cat looks like she thinks she’s way edgier and cooler than she really is. This feels appropriate for Leeds students. With the lil streaks of blue and cyan in her fur, she’s all ready for a neon rave.

University of Liverpool – Layla Ladybird

I want to squish her (lovingly)

Because ladybirds are beatles… get it? The Jellycat website says Layla is “lives for locomotives” and is “a devoted trainspotter”. Good luck with that in England.

The London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE) – Amuseables Ruler

Would he trot alongside you to maths lectures?

People who voluntarily study economics or political science can’t be much fun. They would want a basic, useful Jellycat… that can also be used to measure graphs or whatever.

University of Manchester – Bashful Beige Bunny

Global icon

Manchester is the most popular Russell Group uni. The most sixth form students apply there. So, Manchester should be represented by the most popular (and bestselling) Jellycat: the Bashful Beige Bunny.

Newcastle University – Amuseables Sandcastle

Because it’s a castle… for Newcastle… get it?

University of Nottingham – Amuseables Sports Football

I just love the lil booties

Notts is known for being kind of basic and kind of sporty. Therefore, the uni got a Jellycat representing the most basic sport.

University of Oxford – Jellycat Jack

The cat. The myth. The legend.

Oxford is the oldest uni in the UK. Pretty much every other UK uni has tried to emulate it in some way. So, Oxford gets to be the OG cat in the logo on every toy’s label.

Queen Mary University of London – Merryday Cat

She’s giving scrappy but loveable

After much perusing of Jellycat’s extensive selection of cats, I have concluded this one looks the most like Queen Mary’s iconic campus cat, Queenie.

Queen’s University Belfast – Amuseables Potato

Apparently this is a potato and not a peanut

Queen’s brought an iconic potato mascot called Percy onto University Challenge this year. I figured the Jellycat potato could keep Percy company.

University of Sheffield – Bashful Tiger

Rawr

This magnificent tiger Jellycat is nearly the same size as Sheffield’s mascot Roary McTaverstock.

University of Southampton – Hibernating Tortoise

I really want a beanbag like that

Soto identifies as a beachside uni and does loads of marine-related courses, yet there are no good beaches. This tortoise identifies as being a sea creature ands is in the ocean section of the website, yet tortoises live on land. Hey, it makes sense in my head.

University College London (UCL) – Amuseables Moon Soother

Cutie

Loads of UCL students live with their parents since the rent around their is so ridiculously expensive. A Jellycat comfort blanket feels like the sort of thing UCL students have lying around their childhood bedrooms. This moon can light up their journeys when they drunkenly stumble home after a night out. Plus, this toy colour co-ordinated with UCL’s main building.

University of Warwick – Amuseables Pebble

8cm tall. Costs £20.00.

This is the blandest Jellycat I could find, for the blandest Russell Group uni (I know that’s harsh but it’s true).

University of York – Cordy Roy Baby Duckling Comforter

Maybe we should rename this one Extra Long Boi?

Obviously York should be a duck, in honour of the city’s only notable resident of the last decade. The Cordy Roy Baby Duckling Comforter has similarly unusual proportions to the global icon Long Boi (rip).

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