Six posts you’re bound to see on Birmingham’s infamous Fab’n’Fresh Facebook group

The legendary chat of Fab’n’Fresh is filled with the weirdest NPCs, to serious news in the Selly Oak area. With many potentially rogue individuals in the chat, and also menaces looking to embarrass their mates to over 50,000 group chat members, this place is truly the pinnacle of the University of Birmingham experience.

1. Dismantled cars

via Facebook

I never knew true fear until I kept car parked on the roads of Selly Oak, especially when every other day someones car is either smashed into, or its entire bumper has been dismantled in the night.

Fab’n’Fresh will truly desensitise you to the most strangest crimes which happen in the night, especially when you see cars being set alight to the average Toyota Aygo girly losing their car altogether.

To rub salt in the wound, you’ll always get once person that asks you if you’ve put your car in a bag of rice to fix your dismantled bumper. For those people who were thinking of buying wheel locks for their steering wheel, make sure you get four wheel locks for your tyres as I’d be surprised they survive six months in this place.

2. The car boot sale post

Coming to the time of year that every third year has an identity crisis about leaving uni, but still joyous they are leaving Selly Oak, many people start selling their clothes they got when they were 13 years old to the people of UoB. No Daisy I don’t want your Adidas Superstars, or your stained plate sets you got four years ago for the original selling price.

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Whilst there can be some great IKEA furniture going at the end of the academic year, the amount of rubbish that people put on there truly amazes me each year. I put my drying rack next to my door, completely broken, and it was gone within hours. No need to go the tip as there is always someone that wants broken items for some reason.

3. The Sports Night ticket plea

Every Wednesday its practically Christmas for all the scammers in this group chat, NEVER send over your bank info to anyone from Fab’n’Fresh.

I got scammed over £130 for Olivia Rodrigo tickets on this stupid group chat, don’t be a clown and start ringing Nationwide in tears when asked why you did that. Besides this embarrassing story, from yours truly, the sports night begs are the biggest icks in the group chat who will give over their life savings for a ticket two hours prior to the club opening. Trust me that the average BUCS athlete is not going to pay you in VKs…

4. Someone’s lost ID

You always have some silly goose that loses their ID. Not to go off on a rant, but HOW do you lose your student ID? How have you whipped your student ID whilst walking on a Friday morning and dumped it on a random road? This shower question boggles my mind. There is always a good samaritan that loves to look like a hero, posting about their crazy find to their 9am.

5. The housemate beg

via Facebook

There is always that one weird person in your housemate group chat that drops a bomb saying they have dropped out of uni, leading to people begging on Fab’n’Fresh to join their house.

Not only does Fab’n’Fresh, come the time of July, look like Location, Location, Location, I also don’t need to see your bomb site of a room with a random man sleeping in your bed! I truly aspire to have the confidence some of these ladies have when selling off their rooms desperately to not pay a years worth of rent for a room they won’t be living in.

It’s always fun to see the descriptions of every house being: “We love a good night out but also a cosy night in,” at least ChatGPT a more creative way of saying this babes xoxo.

6. The random psychology questionnaires

via Facebook

I understand answers for these questionnaires and experiments are hard, but I would truly be a millionaire in Amazon gift cards if I went to all of these.

Finding it hard to get a job in Selly Oak area to pay the ridiculous rent prices? No worries, just do a nine to five on random psychology experiments for £10 Amazon vouchers! Please give me a message if this is someone’s job, I wouldn’t even be surprised.

Featured image via Facebook