New strain of super chlamydia found to have originated at University of Exeter halls

A new strain of chlamydia has been found to have originated in a University of Exeter halls of residence.

Sexual health clinicians have reviewed the infected, and believe it came from those living at Old Lafrowda.

Speaking exclusively to The Exeter Tab, sexual health workers confirmed the new variant of the sexually transmitted infection following a reported decrease in the use of sexual protection among students in the accommodation.

Since the spread started, it has been lovingly nicknamed the Old Laf Clap.

Noted for its infectiousness and mutability, this new form of chlamydia has concerned sexual health workers in the South West region, specifically with one testing brand reporting nearly 100 cases since September 2024.

Rea, a nurse based in Exeter, told The Exeter Tab: “Since we work fairly close to the Exeter campus, it is suspected to see a lot of these cases, but colleagues I know from other branches have reported similar situations.

“This new strain is estimated to be a knock-on effect from the pandemic as less people got treated and all these first years now live in close proximity making it even harder to control.”

As the strain is highly mutative, the Old Laf Clap will keep returning and can show a variety of symptoms, such as increased alcohol sensitivity, itching, burning and genital pain. Some students even explained they’d lost their taste and smell. Yet, for many, it remains completely asymptomatic.

An anonymous student told The Exeter Tab that they experienced no taste in their “gone off milk” which they used in their “daily morning bowl of cereal”.

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Dr. S Phylis, a local sexual health specialist, told The Exeter Tab: “We are calling this new strain the “Old Laf Clap” due to its origins. We advise students to get tested, and if they require antibiotics, to take them.”

Tom, a first year student from Old Lafrowda, said: “It’s the new Freshers’ Flu. Everyone I know has got it.

“We’ve even got a chart in our kitchen crossing off each housemate that has it. Guess my recent flatcest might’ve not been a great idea.”

You should probably check the date, you April fools!