Ranking all the Traitors by how crap they were at actually being a Traitor

There is an art to being a good Traitor on The Traitors. In short, you’ve got to be a bit evil. But not evil enough to be clocked by the Faithfuls – just quietly deceptive enough that no one suspects you whilst you commit sinister treachery behind the scenes. In the two season of The Traitors UK we’ve seen so far, the spectrum of good to crap Traitor has been varying to say the least. So – here’s a ranking of all eight Traitors we’ve seen so far, ranked by how crap they actually are at being a Traitor.

VERY GOOD TRAITORS

Miles

Via BBC

Right now, I think Miles has the potential to be the best Traitor so far. He’s completely under the radar. He isn’t overly loved like Paul which has now raised suspicions, and he’s quietly confident. A dark horse.

Harry

I think we all wrote Harry off when he gleefully licked his teeth when Claudia chose him as a Traitor. He was then instantly clocked by Diane. But over the episodes we’ve seen so far, he’s become a strategic gameplayer and has no heat on him. The only way is up, baby!

EVIL TRAITORS WHO STARTED WICKED BUT DOWNFALL CAME AROUND FAST

Wilf

Wilf is kind of the blueprint for a Traitor. Got to the end of season one and nearly won it all. Great gameplayer but just lost his shit in the finale and fucked it all up. Only Meryl was fooled. Of course.

Paul

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Oh dear oh dear. Paul’s downfall looms. Probably the most evil and savage Traitor the show has ever seen – but great TV. I think his evil ways are swiftly catching up to him, though – and his clever gameplaying might have been too ruthless.

AMANDA TIER TRAITORS

Amanda

Via BBC

So iconic she gets her own little moment. Flapped it in the end but no one cared because she was so iconic and timeless. The benchmark of middle aged iconic women for gay men of this country to obsess over. Played it all innocent but behind the scenes would have done anything to win. Her only flaw was trusting Wilf. But what a big flaw that was!

NAIVE TIER TRAITORS

Alyssa

Bless her. She had no clue what she was getting herself in for. Overly emotional and an easy way for Wilf and Amanda to move suspicion off themselves and carry on Traitor treachery. All the crying! Quite iconic she behaved like being banished meant she was sentenced to death. Awful Traitor though.

Kieran

Kieran’s short-lived time as a Traitor consisted of Wilf recruiting him just so he could fuck him over and carry on to the final. Brilliant tbh because Kieran was awful vibes and should have just been binned off at the line bit at the start. An embarrassing time for all involved – and his little stunt when he was banished was good TV but kind of spoiled the game.

PROPER CRAP TRAITOR(S)

Ash

Via BBC

Just sadly very bad at being a Traitor. Even bloody Sonja clocked her in the morning of DAY TWO over a bit of melon. Ash’s reaction said it all. Just not cut out to be a Traitor. Her legacy of all the Traitors in this ranking will be that she was banished rapidly and basically acted as a sacrificial lamb for the other three. Oh dear

The Traitors UK series two continues on BBC and iPlayer at 9pm tonight. For more like this Traitors ranking and the best music, reality TV and entertainment news, like Pop Culture Shrine on Facebook. 

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• A petty little week one ranking of the entire The Traitors series two cast

• All the best moments from The Traitors series one that made it an instant classic

• From a chess coach to a clairvoyant: Meet the full cast of The Traitors series two