These 47 tweets show how bad at flirting straight boys really are

‘So, what would you do if I was there?’

6 years ago

If you’re a person who fancies straight men then unfortunately you will have definitely encountered one of the following phrases whilst texting a guy: “You up?”, “without me?” and “what would you do if I was there?”.

Straight boys must learn these phrases straight out the womb because they’re engrained in their brain and always dropped within five minutes of a conversation. These are the boys who have literally no chat or they’re just after sex. Either way these conversations make you roll your eyes, do that sigh of exasperation and then proceed to laugh over their dead replies with your mates.

A Twitter user tweeted a simple statement: “Flirt like a straight man go.” And people flooded in with examples of all the ways straight men try to flirt and the specific phrases they use on repeat.

https://twitter.com/mahsyako/status/1277453073485565954

From trying to use a sad situation to get nudes to playing 20 questions, these phrases are painfully relatable and if straight men could stop doing them that would be great.

These are the 47 best responses which prove straight men know nothing about flirting:

1. Yes definitely without you.

2. If I had a pound for every time I heard this line.

3. PSA: Liking my pics isn’t flirting.

__________ liked your photo. now

__________ liked your photo. 5s

__________ liked your photo. 8s

__________ liked your photo. 10s

__________ liked your photo. 14s https://t.co/lJWQs5OXZN

— D (@_dlanez) July 3, 2020

4. Hhahaa yes it’s hilarious.

5. Wow, now I really want you.

6. Correct.

https://twitter.com/kmbrrrley/status/1278817788925054978

7. Yes I have seen it, it is in fact, my post.

https://twitter.com/tiyajdoyle/status/1279147791671889920

8. We will share these with our friends and laugh.

https://twitter.com/madicrid/status/1278942597558538243

9. For my psychology girls x

https://twitter.com/BaileyyPerkins/status/1278841592900653057

10. Does anyone still use Snapchat?

https://twitter.com/annalynnshy/status/1278867230097375232

11. No.

https://twitter.com/campbellurrutia/status/1279147880704610310

12. Because it’s probably this.

https://twitter.com/_haleygracew_/status/1278862255245983749

13. Again, no.

https://twitter.com/catcmckinney/status/1279321101970087936

14. An old pyjama t-shirt with pasta sauce down the front.

what u wearing rn https://t.co/ILHp55f3H9

— zaiban (@zaibannn) July 3, 2020

15. I am not your free therapist.

16. But thankfully, I’m not.

*20 minutes into the convo*
“I wish u were here to cuddle with me” https://t.co/meZ0I6OHbL

— kenna (@ItsSteakhousee) July 3, 2020

17. Never.

https://twitter.com/lilum1020/status/1279184845575458816

18. Ew, I can just hear the creeps saying this.

19. Hhahah no.

https://twitter.com/clairejacksoon/status/1278941502882738176

20. Um, thank you???

https://twitter.com/_maggiefay_/status/1278836771166597127

21. Oh, I think she does.

my gf doesn’t have to know https://t.co/J2Im6dbJ5T

— Mark Anthony (@_markanthonypat) July 2, 2020

22. Yes that’s me.

dms you your own post with 👀 https://t.co/5COqlSm87I

— not debra(she/her) (@debbyontheweb) July 2, 2020

23. Fine until you messaged me.

“How’s Lockdown treating you” https://t.co/r4jNxvYEs4

— Chelsea (@chelseajosephx) July 2, 2020

24. Please don’t talk about my cat and my boobs at the same time.

haha your cat is so cute. so how big are your boobs? https://t.co/9zCtMWjXDU

— Satan (@bscllysatan) July 3, 2020

25. Lol a classic.

26. Yes, please leave us alone.

27. God I love this one.

28. No, what’s that?

29. In your own damn kitchen.

“Wyd?”
Me: “eating”
“Where’s mine aha” https://t.co/QWK9HkzUvE

— eves (@eabha_swan) July 2, 2020

30. Eye roll

31. Thank you for telling me what to do with my face.

32. Well it ain’t gonna include you.

33. Please don’t.

34. Um, what would you like me to say to this?

35. In your dreams??

swear i seen u before

— Victoria🕊 (@vicwitastick) June 29, 2020

36. Stop with the coronavirus flirty one liners.

37. THE PICTURE

Bro your ex really did that? Aha that's craaazy….. I would NEVER do that ahahaa
*5 minutes later
You like? 😘 pic.twitter.com/0vVXSeuGO3

— Meat Seltzer (@Dumb_PeePeeHead) July 2, 2020

38. Usually combined with a “Can I get by?”.

39. You still have no chat on WhatsApp.

40. Oh sure I’d love to.

41. That will make me feel so much better.

https://twitter.com/_hyuckace/status/1278866969970655232

42. I’m good thanks.

“getting in the shower want a pic😉” https://t.co/kRrKuQcaww

— jessica thompson (@_jessthompsonx) July 3, 2020

43. That is in my job description tbf.

https://twitter.com/cdechaine96/status/1279174240529526786

44. The compliments just keep coming.

45. Because I want to?

https://twitter.com/_kelskels__/status/1278843974652964865

46. Hahaha true x

Ur so different, lol ur not like most girls… I really like u, but I’m still a bit hurt by my last relationship of 2 weeks that happened 5 years ago… so like I’m not really ready for a relationship atm aha.. but I mean… if ur down to link up aha, cuz ur cute as hell aha pic.twitter.com/9oVeYbIpn7

— ash🌔 (@Guac2BeKiddinMe) June 29, 2020

47. And finally the straight man mating call.

you up?

— sarah (@heavenbrat) June 29, 2020

Featured image before edits:Hannah Busing on Unsplash

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