Raleigh Park is the most average halls for a fresher

Despite what student room might have told you pre arrival in Nottingham, Raleigh Park is not the bustling hub of off campus wonder it’s cracked up to be..

Location, Location, Location

While your campus halls mates will pop home to nap in the inevitable 3 hour gaps in the universal first year timetable, Raleigh Park inmates will be left stranded, forced to endure a hopper bus round trip or actually use free time to do work. Ew.

Realistically Jubilee isn’t actually that far from Uni Park but that crippling 10 minute walk after being shuffled off the 903 might as well be a marathon. Before the days of the shiny new 3G, the barren wasteland of overturned manure and cinder blocks over which you could quite literally see your room, was both soul destroying and a down right pain in the arse. If waiting in traffic on a bus rivaling the temperatures of a sauna for 45 minutes isn’t for you, there is the option to walk. For all of the individuals that have undergone the pilgrimage along Faraday Road, it can be described as nothing else. The longest, least inspiring road in the whole of Lenton. Fact.

Wasteland

JCR

This ‘common room’ has such potential, I mean who doesn’t love leather sofas and pool tables. But let’s face it, they are missing one fundamental item. A bar. The mystical world of campus bars is something the Raleigh Parker is just not privy too. There was once the ‘Graduate Bar’ sandwiched delicately between Wok n Go and the student haven that is Lidl, but even that is now left derelict. Much like any hope of the campus social life Raleigh Park is so lacking.

Lively

‘Outstanding facilities’

Wifi provider ‘Studentcom’ is run by Satan. Personally I did not experience halls wifi but I’d even take Virgin Media over this shameful excuse for high-speed. If your flatmate is into gaming then forget getting online, ever. Do not pay for Netflix, you will not be able to use it. The saving grace of Raleigh flats is the prospect of having a friendly neighborhood cleaner every week. Although problems can arise, should you deem to leave a tea towel/spoon/ other immovable object on any kitchen surface. Great banter, not great cleaners.

Post visit from the cleaner

Rooms

Surprisingly alright, unless you are on the ground floor ensuring you have this stunning view for the year.

Jailbirds

Or you are next to the bathroom in which case paper thin walls mean you’ll get close to your flatmates in no time. Speaking of flatmates, that one weird one that everyone meets in halls in freshers and avoids for the rest of eternity? There’s no escaping them at Raleigh. The whole year will be spent awkwardly squeezing by to use the decaying oven or crossing paths in and out of the shower. Excellent.

Fire alarms

They will be frequent. They will be everlasting. They will force you to write your coursework in your pyjamas on a picnic bench the morning that it is due.

Benches ft. miscellaneous trolley

Nurses

You are wonderful human beings but you suck to live with. Raleigh Park is like a sorority of nurses, the absolute dream if you are one. Here they congregate in their masses and if you’re in an all nurse flat you may have just met your pals for life. The problem with being surrounded by nurses is the timing is all wrong. They’ve got placement when you’re celebrating end of deadlines and they are throwing banging crisis pres when you’ve got a 9am. Tbf they are 100 per cent the life and soul of the party. Just one that non nurses aren’t invited to.

Standard single

Roddice court

There is no knowledge on this place. People go in but never return. A black hole of broken dreams and late accommodation applications.

Black hole

Honestly there’s nothing horrific about Raleigh Park. It’s just so fundamentally average, the kind of average that instills an unexplained hatred in those unfortunate enough to have experienced it.

“Go hard or go live on campus!!!” Just go live on campus.