Literally just a list of terrible gifts you should never give for Valentine’s Day

It’s the time of year again when pretty much every girl goes Valentine’s crazy. Yes, sure, you shouldn’t just show your love on this one day of the year, but that argument is as old and cliche as the holiday itself. Put your feelings aside, and shower you significant other with the love and attention (and presents) they deserve. But, whatever you do, do not get them these gifts. It will only end in disaster, I promise.

A steering wheel cover

Is this even a thing? Do people actually buy these? Why? Literally, just why. 

A gift card

You literally haven’t even tried, have you?

Tacky lingerie

Any lingerie, really, is a bad way to go. Get something too small, and she’ll think she’s fat. Something too big, and she’ll think that you’re trying to tell her that she’s fat. You can’t win. And if you’re going to try, at least make sure it’s from somewhere nice. She might forgive you for getting the wrong size if it’s from Victoria Secret. 

Alcohol

Unless its champagne and its accompanied by a three-course meal that includes something chocolatey, or if you can score a sweet champagne vending machine (that would be pretty sweet), then alcohol is not a gift. Do better.

Socks

Yes, everyone needs socks, and yes I guess it is sweet that you worry about how cold your significant other’s feet are. But socks are boring, cheap, and impersonal. You might as well just write them a note saying “sorry, I forgot” and be done with it.

Dilettos

Apparently these are high heeled shoes, but the heels are made of dildos. Just what every girl’s ever dreamed of. (I’m kidding, do not buy these. Do not even think about buying these. They are hideous). 

Jewellery with your initial on it

Sure, it was super cute when Troy gave Gabriella a necklace with a ‘T’ on it, and every twelve-year-old who watched the film swooned a little. But we’re not 12 anymore, and we’ve grown up enough to realise we don’t actually want some guy marking his territory with some tacky piece of jewellery. Get out your wallet and go to a proper, adult jewellery store, and stop getting present inspiration from a Disney film that’s 10 years old. I hear Pandora has some nice stuff this time of year.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A self-help book

Are you really going to pick valentine’s day as they day you tell your SO that they need help? Didn’t think so. 

A text

Long distance is hard, and sometimes there’s no way around the fact that you won’t get to see your SO on the actual day. But don’t just send a text, that literally screams “I don’t really care about this holiday”, which can just as easily be read as “I don’t really care about you”. Ring them rather than text, and make sure you’ve at least sent some flowers. Nice flowers. 

A gym membership

Do not. I repeat, do not give your boyfriend/girlfriend anything that might imply that their fat. Your intentions might be good, yes they might have said they wanted to join a gym, but it will never go down well. Trust me.