A definitive ranking of the York degrees with the most sex appeal

Sorry Business and Management, you didn’t make it

1 year ago

There are three valid reasons to apply for a degree. The first is obvious, everyone wants to get a job and survive in the world, the second is because you (hopefully) like the subject. The third, which is probably the most important and yet barely ever discussed, is all about the sex appeal of each degree. If you’re a prospective student scoping out the Uni of York, someone who wants to see where they stand in the rankings, or you just need to know when to hang around the Spring Lane Building looking all mysterious and attractive, stick around, and take notes.

Philosophy

The stereotypical philosophy student is impossibly suave, stands above it all, and knows what metaphysics means. They’ll always have a quote from a dead French person handy to make you think, and a scarf handy if you need to cover a hickey. And yeah, maybe the chain-smoking habit is a bit out of date in 2022, but you can forgive them for that because they just love outdoor cafes.

Maths

Be honest, you don’t know what any of those weird symbols mean, and the weird X brings up some unpleasant memories from GCSE. That’s the allure of a maths degree, though, they can actually read and write like that, and it’s spooky in a very particular (hot) way. A maths student is someone that just looks clever, regardless of if they actually are, which is the best of both worlds if you’re worried about being upstaged. Clever people are sexy people, and if you want your own mini Spencer Reid, date a maths student.

Film studies

If you can sit through the first two dates of experimental art haus movies and Letterboxd comparisons, then you’re past the hard bit and can finally cuddle up and watch something made for humans. I’ll be honest, a lot of the attraction is that they probably know someone in the York Student Cinema who can get you into a screening under the radar, but who doesn’t love endless Netflix and chill? As a bonus, they never leave the house long enough to get with anyone, so you never have to worry about cheating.

English

As an English student, I might be biased, but I’m also correct. Bookshops are the best date spots, and who knows better bookshops than an English student? The downside is that those dates aren’t exactly that regular. Between course reading, essays, and breakdown-induced hair dyeing, our calendars are pretty full. But when we do make it out, it’s always for a good time. Oh, and if you were wondering, it’s the Minster Gate Bookshop.

Computer science

Hear me out. Ten years ago, was comp sci the biggest red flag in a person you could ever find? Yes. Is Discord still kind of weird? Also yes. However, it’s 2022 and the world has moved on. Tech is cool now, and computer scientists know all about tech. Just imagine waking up to a coffee pot that’s already brewed, in a house with lights and temperature you can control by asking nicely. Besides, you know what’s sexy? A six-figure salary, without waiting seven years for them to get an MD. It’s not gold digging, it’s an investment in your future.

Art history

The numbers, I’ll admit, don’t add up on this one. Art and history, individually, don’t do much except turn up to seminars high and scoff at those of us doing degrees that “are useful” and “have employability”. But when you multiply the pretentiousness together, it just sort of works. Art historians are mean, but behind their prickly exterior, they aren’t so bad and have great fashion sense. Besides, art usually means they can draw, and who doesn’t want to be someone’s muse?. Art history without a doubt has the highest sex appeal.