I went to Salvos completely sober and this is how it went

It will NEVER happen again

Wednesday morning approaches and after spending twenty minutes on hold with the doctor, I am finally put on a course of antibiotics. Relief is imminently replaced with horror as the realisation sinks in- I can’t drink tonight. So many thoughts race through my head. Do I just not go? Will it be better to just stay at home?

After expressing my fears in the group chat, I am inevitably peer-pressured into going sober. It is Wednesday Salvos, and it’s too good to miss. After making it through the social in one piece, here is how the experience went:


I had forgotten that drunk people cannot feel the cold. I am stood shivering in the queue wearing my coat feeling like a pensioner whilst several freshers prance around in nothing but halter neck crop tops and low-rise jeans. My sweet days of youth are over.


Strong start, we’re in and straight to the bar. You will never face judgement like asking for a glass of water at the beginning of the night. After reluctantly being handed the glass, which I now have to protect with my whole life, we make our way to the dance floor.


It’s actually alright at this point. Luckily, I have never had much dignity so letting myself go in the middle of the dance floor is proving to be quite easy. My friends aren’t too drunk yet, so I am still able to hold a coherent conversation with them. I am filled with hope.


I spoke too soon. A rather drunk girl stood too close to me, and I accidentally threw my arms up in the air and knocked her down the steps (this actually happened btw). Before getting screamed at, I hurry everyone to the top floor.


It is HELL in there. I have never sweated so much in my life. VK’s are being pushed to my mouth left, right and centre. It’s inescapable. They are everywhere. I am one “I can’t drink tonight” away from losing it completely.


The only place I could find safety was in the toilets. I am unsure as to how long this can go on for. Tensions are high.



I have lost everyone. The only friend left has been getting off with a boy for about 20 minutes. I was coerced into holding her drink and bag, therefore we are bounded together for the foreseeable future.


I pay a quick visit to the smoking area and consider taking it up due to the amount of stress this night is causing me. I never realised how much of weird place Salvos smoking area is. People aimlessly wandering around, no life left in their eyes. Numerous vape flavours floating in the air. Time doesn’t exist.


The night ends. I am a broken woman.

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