Which football team is your Warwick halls?
It’s the question on all of our minds
You never thought you would need to know which popular Vine your halls is, or which Made in Chelsea character they are. But you did. And now you need to know which football team is your Warwick halls.
Well, we have the answers. So hold onto your football shirts and shin pads while we tell you which football team strikes the most resemblance with your Warwick accommodation.
Jack Martin – Manchester United
The gold standard that others aspire to. The OG. When you think of Warwick halls, you think of Jack Martin- central campus, nice rooms, good people, a good all-round mix. Just like Manchester United, they have the history, they have the stadium and, once José is out of the way, they have the future. Can't go wrong here.
Arthur Vick – Manchester City
Arthur Vick epitomises Man City, because they're just like their neighbours, but not quite as old, and a bit richer. Nobody will admit it, but everyone wants to be you. You're the best of the best, and that's not going to change any time soon. Central location, en suite, fun people – it's the Warwick equivalent of Pep's tiki- taka with Gabriel Jesus and Phil Foden coming through the ranks.
Bluebell – Chelsea
Bluebell, like Chelsea, is the richest, and stockpiles all the international talent. It's just behind the main contenders, but, nonetheless, a challenger. Despite this, nobody would pick Bluebell or Chelsea as their first choice. They're good, very good in fact, but there's just something about them that means they'd never be your favourite. Unless you happen to be a Russian oligarch.
Cryfield – Sheffield United
Easily forgotten, and there's probably a reason for that. Let's be honest, Cryfield has had its day. The time when Cryfield was relevant has come and gone, possibly before its residents were even born. Sure it's there, and it seems pretty decent at the start of the year with a new lick of paint or a new head coach, but in reality, it's in a different division and isn't coming back any time soon.
Rootes – Liverpool
The nosiest of the lot, there's nothing quite like pres in Rootes, or equally, hearing You'll Never Walk Alone sung by the Kop. They say they're the best. They say they're the most exciting. They score a lot. Everyone has a soft spot for them, but nobody actually wants to be them. Maybe it's because in Rootes, a night out always ends with sick in your shower and a 5 am fire alarm, the halls equivalent of Loris Karius throwing away the Champions League final. Twice.
Whitefields – Everton
Forever in the shadows of their noisy neighbours. At the start of every year, they'll claim that they hold the best pres, that this is their season to break into the top 6. But everybody knows that only their fans think that's true. Whitefields will never beat Rootes in any category, and in the same way, Everton will never finish above Liverpool.
Lakeside – Southampton
Near a body of water and not that near to anything else, Lakeside and Southampton are solidly mid-table and reliable. Not at the top and not at the bottom (well, we'll gloss over last season's shenanigans), both Lakeside and Southampton are not particularly glamorous, but are still a part of the fabric of Warwick and the Premier League.
Claycroft – Bournemouth
Claycroft, like Bournemouth, is a bit out of the way of the other halls and respectively any Premier League teams. It's easily forgotten, but it's pretty vital to how things run. No trip to Tesco would be complete without commenting on how good it would be to live so close to the supermarket, just like no season is complete without the pundits reminding us that Eddie Howe is the best young English manager since, well, ever.
Sherbourne – Arsenal
Solidly better than everyone else. Without a doubt, Sherbourne is the best of the non-central campus halls, and of those not challenging seriously for Champions League. They have some exciting people who will be great fun on a night out, or challenge to win the Golden Boot. They'll keep insisting that they're not that far from campus and not far from the Top 4, but we all know nobody's buying it.
Heronbank – Brighton and Hove Albion
A bit like Claycroft, Heronbank and Brighton are just a little bit irrelevant. You know they exist, you know roughly where they are, and they sound fun on paper but that's about it. They're just generally pretty inoffensive. You know nothing else about Heronbank, and, to be honest, does anybody really know much about Brighton?
Tocil – Huddersfield Town
Literally nobody, and I mean nobody, knows anything about these halls. You'd forget that Tocil even exists if it wasn't for the fact you walk through it occasionally to try and find a shortcut, and equally, you'd forget about Huddersfield if you didn't have to play them twice a season. Everyone is pretty clueless as to how they got there or what's going on in there, but they're there, on central campus, with the big boys, and enjoying their time.
Westwood – Cardiff City
Westwood is literally in it's own little country, just like Cardiff in Wales. You know you don't want to trek all the way there, but you have to for the sake of getting your ASOS package, or securing another three points.
Redfern – Sheffield Wednesday
Redfern is a fair bit away from central campus and respectively, Wednesday is a fair bit away from making it in the Premier League. Both the halls and the football team are easily forgotten, for good reason.