Why POP! Gets You Laid

Let’s face it, it’s the only night out where it is pretty much guaranteed.


If ever there was a time and a place to get some action, POP! is it.

Given that the Copper Rooms event is reminiscent of a school disco (with students soaked in Purple rather than Capri Sun), what is it that makes its attendees want to dance the mattress mambo?

Even the most aesthetically and socially challenged of our students get the opportunity to play ‘hide the hotdog’ that SMACK refuses to give them. So why is POP! so good for pulling?

1. Proximity to your bed

For those of you living on campus, not having to deal with the daily commute is not the only perk.

With your bed a mere 100m stumble away, you also get to avoid the night-time commute of intoxicated – and soon to be sexually frustrated – riffraff.

It can’t be denied that it’s a lot less of a commitment for your horny partner to agree to bump uglies with you there than, say, trekking all the way to Leamington – by which time he/she would be in danger of sobering up and realising that your Chewbacca costume isn’t quite as funny (or arousing) as first thought.

And never fear, those of you off campus can also reap the benefits of this proximity should a selfless fresher be willing to take you under their wing. And by ‘wing’ I mean bed sheets.

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The start of a beautiful love story…?

2. Circling

The one key difference between POP! and a school disco is that in the latter you were never forced to neck purple until either vomiting or finding yourself in a near-death alcoholic stupor (one would hope, anyway).

Indeed, had this happened Year 8 discos could’ve taken a somewhat horrifying, but undoubtedly entertaining, turn. Circling encourages drinking, drinking encourages fornication. It’s a simple matter of cause and effect.

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White shirt + pints of purple = big error

3. Peacocking 

Just as peacocks use their feathers to capture the attention of a mate, so too do circlers use their distasteful outfits to capture the attention of unwitting Pop-goers.

“Why are you wearing a wig on your face?”

“I’m dressed as Osama Bin Laden.”

Instant conversation starter. And we all know where conversations about Bin Laden lead. That’s right, to your pants.

Who wouldn't want to take this fine specimen home?

Who wouldn’t want to take this fine specimen home?

In conclusion, POP! is equivalent to putting animals in heat into a sticky enclosure: testosterone is flowing, purple is flowing, and one way or another someone’s bound to get fucked.