Single? Things to do on Valentine’s

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

If you’re in a relationship,

I hate you.

Or you know, something less bitter…

Once again it’s that time of year that all of us singletons love, Valentine’s Day. No matter how much you proclaim that you don’t care about such a stupid consumerist holiday, we all know you’re lying. Here are some ideas to get you through the day…

1. Ignore it completely.

Who even was St Valentine?

It is just another Thursday. You’re alone the other 364 days of the year and with Warwick standards that’s unlikely to change…

Why should you care any more on this particular day? This one would probably be helped if you avoid all couples: watch TV but avoid the cinema, restaurants and posh cafes like the plague.

2. Make a Valentine’s Day pact with a friend.

Cute.

This one comes with a range of perks: all the presents but none of the pretending that you’re a nice person.

Alternatively if a friend zone date isn’t your sort of thing Man U play Real Madrid on Wednesday. Valentine’s, the next day,  could be spent reveling in the aftermath of such an epic clash.

3. Get wasted, go out, find some other desperate singleton, go home with them. Sorted.

Not as easy as it sounds – this is Warwick after all…

4. Go to a restaurant alone.

Never mind people will think you’ve been stood up

It sounds pathetic and you will probably have to plan this one in advance in order to actually get a table but it could be the best people watching you ever do.

If you’re feeling soppy you’ll see all the lovey-dovey couples – with the amount of pressure that Valentine’s Day puts on being perfect there’s bound to be an argument or two, maybe even a break up. What better?

5. Buy some cheap cards and give them to strangers.

Bargain

If you’re brave enough you can just hand them to a passing hottie,  or post them through some random people’s letterboxes and make their day! A lot of effort but stranger things happen.

I  will probably spend the whole night in bed – unlike you losers I am enjoying a relationship with two men simultaneously. The first called Ben, the other Jerry.