BNOC of the Year 2016: Round Three

You know the drill

William Penn once said, “Avoid popularity; it has many snares, and no real benefit”. What utter bollocks. Popularity is what could bring one of our following nominees the title of Nottingham’s BNOC of the Year.

Kat Lewis, Philosophy, Second Year

Reason for being nominated: “She is the future President of Cheerleading, giving her great connections with the likes of NUFC, and she suspiciously owns an NUFC t-shirt… She has her own radio show on URN to make sure she’s got enough experience to be the next Annie Mac, she is currently at 229 likes on her Sports Ball profile pic, and she even got invited to that cool Prelinks house party. If she went to Shapes, she’d probably get a good candid photo, and oh, before you check, her Instagram is private.” 

Describe this BNOC in 3 words: “Sassy, cheery, *eye roll*”

What’s their most BNOC story? “It’s not all glamour with Kat, she used to work at Legoland and had to dress up as a giant pink brick everyday. She also used to have a Youtube channel and remade music videos to One Direction… link to follow if she wins.”

Charlie Fowler, Hispanic Studies, Second Year

Reason for being nominated: “Fowler loves to drink, loves food, and loves socialising with his friends. He was ‘That guy in Cripps’, and has already established a name for himself in the prestigious Men’s Hockey Club after two successful seasons with the Clams. Fowler hopes to go on to do a ski season in the near future after recently completing Val Thorens and winning a UoN Snowsports Photo competition with 276 Facebook official likes. Charlie’s current claim to fame is the popular number one hit ‘One Dance’ being based loosely on Fowler’s lifestyle, after catching Drake’s attention when he first appeared on @Champagnepapi official Instagram back in 2015.”

Describe this BNOC in 3 words: “Charlie Fucking Fowler.”

What’s their most BNOC story? “Despite the fore warning of his peers, Fowler pursued and succeeded in setting the current Guinness World record for the most Joss shots in one night (6) back in early April this year. He later justified his actions with the immortal quote: ‘I would rather die than be boring.'”

Carl Pickering, Industrial Economics, Third Year

Reason for being nominated: “American Football Social Sec.”

Describe this BNOC in 3 words: “Play the Rules.”

What’s their most BNOC story? “Thought Krakow was a country before he came to university.”

Alan Holey, Geography, Second Year

Reason for being nominated: “King of Crisis and the sassiest dancer since Beyoncé; he can be found every Wednesday centre stage strutting his stuff.”

Describe this BNOC in 3 words: “So much sass.”

What’s their most BNOC story? “Every story about this boy is a funny story.” Yeah, not to mention the fact that Crisis created a video dedicated entirely to Alan’s dancing AND gave him his own title – The King of Disco.

Tom Burton, Chemical Engineering, Second Year

Reason for being nominated: “Been to any second year house party that’s not been shit this year? It’s Tom Burton behind the decks. Whilst most DJs would appeal to what the crowd actually want (Drake and that running man challenge song played on repeat), Burton smashes out 3 solid hours of dirty German industrial techno. With people literally begging Burton and his two sidekicks to DJ at their parties, he’s definitely becoming one of the best known people around. Most BNOCs who get nominated are probably the usual attractive, sporty types who buy VIP Crisis tickets for their mates and buy rounds of drinks to gain popularity. Burton puts a middle finger up to that lot and has earned the respect of his legions of fans through appealing to the dark side of Nottingham: those boys and girls from the home counties who have flown the nest, found illicit substances and now think Brickworks is Mecca. He may not be your stereotypical BNOC, but Tom Burton is most certainly a big name.”

Describe this BNOC in 3 words: “Fuck Ocean. Techno.”

What’s their most BNOC story? “He once Dj’ed a one off gig at Stealth (in room 2 from 10.30-11.30 pm). He’s not shut up about it since. He reckons he’s less than 2 years away from getting a residency at Berghain because of it. What he won’t tell you is that at his Stealth gig he had 8 people watching; 7 of them being his best mates, and the other 1 was the bouncer.”

Guy ‘Loose’ Britton, Neuroscience, First Year

Reason for being nominated: “For being the loosest guy in Nottingham.”

Describe this BNOC in 3 words: “Loose. Loose. Loose.”

What’s their most BNOC story? “Had to go to hospital before a night out but still made it to Ocean in the same evening. He also drank a VK full of piss in Crisis for no apparent reason.” His nomination also reports him apparently saying:
“If I win, I will evolve to a level of looseness never seen before on this earth. 1 vote = 1 loose thing for me to do after exams”.

Vote below for your round three winner: