There’s nothing wrong with being a psycho girlfriend

Girls all over the world have been branded as ‘psychos’ for reacting when their boyfriends act out of line. Personally, I think this is a crass over-exaggeration. Boys are just as possessive and jealous, yet no one ever gives them any grief for it.

My former self and so many of my friends have spent hours analysing what boys say, as we are too scared to say how we really feel. The reason being because of this horrible label of girls being ‘clingy’ or ‘psycho’  if we react to display how we are really feeling inside. Well, not anymore – I’ve had enough. Recently I’ve been getting really pissed off that the result of me sticking up for myself if I’m annoyed with my boyfriend has resulted in me being branded a psycho.

Trust me: most girls think the same as I do. Oh look at you Luke, you think you’ve found a girl who’s “really chilled man,” well don’t get your hopes up yet mate because secretly she DOES mind that little catch up coffee you had with your ex, and her whole girls WhatsApp group will be bitching about it for the rest of the day.

Exhibit A of fuckboy behaviour

She really does want something serious

Any girl who acts chilled out is just trying to lure you into a false sense of security and a relationship. Boys might think they’ve got girls covered, but I’ve been a girl since I came out of the womb. So take it from me that the girl you are talking to, who you think is ‘cool and doesn’t want anything serious either,’ will be looking for wedding dresses, your ex-girlfriend on Facebook, and apps to hack into your text messages.

But really, we should ask, why are girls like this?

Most of us have probably experienced that guy who we really like, but he ‘doesn’t want to label anything.’ This results in us spending endless hours stressing over them, debating with our friends about how long we should leave it to reply to his text, and refreshing their Instagram feed to see if he’s liked that one girl’s photo again. You better believe we’ve been on Facebook and WhatsApp to see when you were last active.  He probably told you in the morning that he was ‘starting to really like you babe,’ yet he still goes home with the girl with the weird eyebrows the same night. Don’t take a back seat – say when you’re pissed off! Don’t bottle it up just to save face so you look chilled.

‘Lucy from Tinder’ will be getting a sassy text

Even if you do ever get to that next stage of a relationship the fun doesn’t stop there. Two months in and the new love of your life is liking his ex-girlfriend’s profile picture and texting some hoe saved as ‘Lucy from Tinder *heart emoji*‘ 24/7. Do you still need to be talking to her is my question? And the answer is; you don’t, because you’ve got a girl at home. Period.

Wastemen like this need to be put in their place; you wouldn’t text that boy, so he shouldn’t text that girl. Just because they tell you that you’re crazy and jealous doesn’t make their behaviour acceptable. Never let a guy trick you into thinking you are a psycho girlfriend just because you won’t accept them acting like a total fuckboy.

Why are boys like this?

The fact that men are often totally clueless on how to act in these situations doesn’t help much either. They tend to deal with it in one of three ways:

Naivety – This will be when the boy pretends he has no idea what is going on. Exhibit A: ”Omg you’re annoyed because Sophie just said she’d give me a blowjob? Babe we’re just friends she’s only joking!” But if you are genuinely just a bit oblivious and stupid, then don’t worry: I’ll happily point out a hoe to you.

Denial –  ”I’m not interested in my ex, why does it matter that I liked her Instagram picture?” I hear you ask. Well a like clearly indicates interest. If I don’t like Donald Trump, I’m not going to be liking photos of Donald Trump to express my liking of Donald Trump. You can save up that Insta love Craig and send it my way instead because that’s where your interest is now.

Accusation – “Listen babe, I text this girl I just met in a club and told her to come back to mine just so I could help her find her way back to her house. You’re being a psycho about this, Jesus Christ.” Don’t give me that shit. She knows where her own house is and even if she doesn’t why would you? If that bitch wants to find her way home I’ll text her the link to Google Maps and off she can fly far, far away like a little slut fairy.

So please don’t try and make me out like a psychopath so that you can get away with playing the field. It’s not fair and no girl should need to be worried about saying how she feels just to avoid being labelled as an obsessive mentalist.