Admit it: Trent nights are the best nights

We’ve been in denial for far too long


The bitter rivalry between Uni of and Trent has dominated university life in Nottingham for years. So much so that nights out with both universities are rare and far between. Yet when a brave soul from Uni of dares to venture into the unknown of Trent nightlife, they have been amazed, horrified and addicted from the start.

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Trent nights are by far the most varied. For one they have a solid night out for everyday of the week, even on Sundays. Uni of are lacking somewhat.

Yes Wednesdays and Fridays are the highlight of the week and we do smash those undeniably, but what about Monday and Tuesdays? The fall of Coco Tang has left our Monday’s empty and the barren wasteland that is Black Milk means Tuesday is a night in of Netflix and no chill.

Trent on the other hand go out every night of the week from Dirty Mondays at Forum, Oceana Tuesdays, Ocean Wednesdays, Rock City Thursdays, Forum again on Friday, SU night Saturdays and Bowery Sundays. Thank god their lectures aren’t too strenuous.

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Trent are always full on, no half measures (literally). It’s go hard or go home. No one is having a gentle night out and waiting at the bar for a cup of water. They start their nights on a bar crawl around the city ensuring they are annihilated by the time they rock up to the club. They don’t worry about tomorrow’s 9am fashion studies lecture, they plough through until the bitter end, chanting as they’re forced out and even end up in Barcelona after a standard SU Night.  They even pull more than we do. Lets be honest, that semen found on the Ocean carpets was not from a Uni of student.

Compare this to a Uni of night, where most people can’t handle their booze and are ready to chunder and head home after a couple of hours. Uni of are reluctant to carry it on until the early hours of the morning, prioritising their studies or worse going home to their boy/girlfriends. Ew.

Let’s give us a bit of credit, we do put on a great night, the best being the infamous Seven Legged bar crawl. A lot of time and effort is put in to create elaborate costumes, with students running around Nottingham to find that next bar whilst tied to six other people.

However this only happens once a year, Trent are doing the same thing every single week in Ocean, just with more flesh on show. The rugby guys each week venture out in only a pair of speedos, putting last year’s tennis themed costume to shame.

Ain't party like an Ocean party...

Ain’t no party like an Ocean party…

The people at Trent nights are far more friendlier and laid back than their Russell Group neighbours. Everyone is getting off with everyone, there are no social boundaries. No one cares who your Dad works for and how much he brought home last year.

At Uni of nights there are cliques, you can’t join the circle unless you’re a paid member of a country club or own a house in Surrey. If your mates abandon you you’re relegated to the sidelines, spending your night walking around the outer edge of the dance floor and visiting the toilets every ten minutes.

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But is there any evidence behind the belief that Trent nights are the better? A 2014 Which? University survey of 12,500 undergraduates found that Trent was one of the top 15 unis in the country for nightlife. Uni of failed to make the list, despite being in the same city with exactly the same clubs and bars.

It’s hard to admit it but Trent nights are just better.

Nevertheless all is not lost for Uni of, yes you’ve chosen the wrong uni for nights out, but luckily you’re right next door to the boozing elite. Scrap Crisis tonight, get some fancy dress and head on down to Ocean.