What Nottingham’s bouncers really think of you

They stop your drunken fun. They stare at you with that stern gleam in their eye (which we’ve learnt is them ‘reading’ you and they’ve got 10 seconds to do it). They kick you out for no good reason, and if it’s not you it’s probably one of your mates.

Yeah okay your eyes were rolling back in your head and you were chatting shit, maybe you even punched some guy in the jaw, but come on, there’s no need for them to ruin your night is there?

Bouncers seem to be hated by students, but guess what, some of them kind of hate you too. We spoke to some of the door staff from clubs and bars around Notts and asked them what they really think about students.

Dan, BAA Bar

“Students are fun, outgoing, but they always throw up everywhere. I had one girl once, she was in the male toilets lying on the floor with her head on the urinal. She said she was ‘relaxing’ and when we tried to remove her off the premises she started pushing and bawled her eyes out when we brought her outside. Then she walked over to the gutter and threw up again. That’s always stuck in my head about students.”

Shem, Oceana

“Students aren’t bad, they just need to listen more, it’s important they listen. It’s frustrating when they don’t bring both ID, student and provisional, because otherwise I can’t let them in and they get annoyed. They try and get in after 2am as well, which is last entry, and they get pissed off when I say no. They say ‘oh my mates are in there’ as if that’s going to make a difference. But apart from that, I normally don’t have a problem with students really.”

Klaudio and Steve, Revolution

KLAUDIO: Students can be nice, but sometimes they need babysitting. Some of them need to have a wash. Girls need babysitting more than the guys I’d say, because they throw up all the time. And they all spend way too much money; they don’t care what they spend. Which is a good thing for the clubs and bars I guess. They’re just funny to watch. And they’re better than the locals.

STEVE: To be honest, I think they should spend more time studying than partying. Or maybe we’re just jealous because we can’t do that. What is annoying is when they try to sneak their own alcohol in.

Think what you will about bouncers, some of us are destined to have run-ins with them while others can just watch from the side and laugh with our jägerbombs. At the end of the day, bouncers are just there to do a job. They don’t go purposefully out of their way to be wankers; they act out of necessity. Don’t forget, they were young once too. Next time, be a bit wise – just get a burger and go home.