Going to the gym at uni is a massive waste of time

I don’t even lift

There’s a new, dangerous obsession taking over British campuses. It’s infecting lecture theatres, student ghettos and libraries alike. 

I’m talking about the new generation of gym-hungry attention seekers.

We’ve all seen them, walking to and from uni in their sports stash hoodie, position and initials proudly presented for all to see, as if we care about their bang average team or weird initiation ceremony.

Clutching one of those awful plastic containers filled with some slightly gelatinous, suspicious looking liquid they refer to as a protein shake, they silently judge anyone who can’t remember the last time they worked out. They are the new breed of gym-obsessed, gain-hungry fitness freaks.

obnoxious vests are a must

obnoxious vests are a must

Their eyes hit all those around them with piercing glares, just to make them feel bad for grabbing a much deserved (yes I had three contact hours today) dairy milk as they continue their walking to Sainsbury’s workout for the day.

No-one cares mate

No-one cares mate

Once they get in the gym, they’re even worse. Not content with checking their appearance every five seconds, they take 10 minute breaks between their sets to update their instagram with their latest immaculate outfit combo decked out with inane hashtags like #instafit, #motivated #nopainnogain, that do nothing but let the rest of us know what massive twats they are.

But really, where has this desire to be so chiseled and gym-keen come from all of a sudden? Maybe I’m just jealous because I’ve never had a six pack, or maybe I’m envious of the self control of the average gym-monkey, but really, is it even good for you?

I mean, what could be better for you than pushing your body close to its limits in-between lectures, fuelled by nothing but processed protein shakes and last week’s ‘cheat day’? A balanced diet maybe? Nope, just me then.

They train muscles the rest of us don't even know about

They train muscles the rest of us don’t even know about

Honestly, I don’t think any of us gym-membership lacking mere mortals would even pretend to understand the fascination with protein shakes, avocado or that machine they’ve got at the gym that allows you to walk up a never ending flight of stairs. And the thing is, we wouldn’t need to try to understand if it wasn’t for the constant stream of Valencia filtered salads and Nike yoga pants filling up our instagrams, our facebook feeds and sadly, our lives

So, what is it these guys are showing off? Does their ‘beach body’ somehow entitle you to a deckchair that’s off limits to the rest of us? Do your #gains somehow improve your value as a person?

I’m not knocking anyone for trying to improve as a person, but be healthy and happy in your own skin. The in your face nature of this latest trend suggests to me you’re not doing it for yourself, you’re doing it for the likes.