Tab Tries: rugby social

Our resident weedy boy manages to sneak his way into a Rugby social (somehow, we aren’t sure). Find out how he got on…

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Now if any of you know me personally, you’ll know I am not a rugby player. Skinny. Scrawny. Weedy. Camp… And after 5 years of being subjected to the sport at my all boys’ grammar, I thought I’d never pick up a rugby ball again. Could I tell you if this was the Rugby Union or the Rugby League team? I wouldn’t even know, yet what I can tell you is that this is by far one of the best ways to get involved at University.

After pres in the Bag, we moved onto the Happy Return to play Lash Bins.

When my house-mates suggested ‘going to the Bag with the Rugby boys’ before Crisis, I laughed. I knew exactly how it was going to pan out; the girls would get wrapped up and lost in the sheer testosterone whilst I’d be stood awkwardly in the corner wishing I could lift. I hadn’t been in the company of large groups of lads since my first year in Hugh Stu – I was dreading the evening, bitching and complaining about how ‘awk’ I thought it was going to be. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.  

Okay so, at first, it was somewhat awkward. Many seemed to be perplexed by my presence; unsure as to whether I was on the Notts Uni Ladies Lacrosse team, or maybe, someone’s little brother. All the boys had arrived in ‘bad shirts’ with ‘unconventional drinking vessels’. I was wearing a blue crew tee from Urban Outfitters; my pale boney arms hanging either side of my ab-less torso, I stuck out like a very small and skinny sore thumb. I just couldn’t wait to get to BCL. Little did I know that later I’d be sniffing my own body weight in snuff straight from the Team’s 4th Lock’s hands and drinking out of a bin.

One my my lacrosse-playing housemates; absolutely loving life.

The social was held with the University of Nottingham Ladies Lacrosse Club

“Bloody nora, I can’t handle all these hot boys…so much testosterone. I love this!” Another one of my flatmates beamed at me. Everyone was so friendly and welcoming, despite my very apparent lack of club membership – I felt like I was back at Gravesend Grammar! The team atmosphere was brilliant: whilst they egged each other on to ‘finish the bin’, there was still a caring atmosphere and some of the early-quitters were looked after in the age old if-one-of-us-goes-down-we-all-go-down-philosophy.

We were split into teams: Fresh Meat, Second Years and Finalists. We were then presented with a Lash Bin and fuckton of snuff. The game: a race to drink the dubious red liquid from the bins and to sniff all of the snuff. Using drinking vessels to down pints, everyone soon became drunk. Many had brought shoes, ashtrays, old beer bottles, kegs and bottles from toiletries to drink from. Caught up in the loud, raucous atmosphere, I was on my 4th pint of worse-than-Karni-cocktail and ready to barry. Behind me, the Club Captain was projectile-vomiting into a bin:

The Lash Bins soon become chunder-buckets.

It wouldn’t be a proper social without some toilet-hugging

Bad Taste shirts to go with the bilious contents of the Lash Bins

I ran into the bathroom in an attempt to fit in a tactical chunder, but I was beaten to it by some poor soul:  “Mate….mate, I’m gonna throw up…get the door”. In my drunken state I attempted to offer some form of emotional/moral support but was too gone myself to prescribe anything decent. Instead, I handed him back his unfinished Fairy Liquid ‘drinking vessel’ and helped him back into the main room. In all this, there was even time for a little sing-song from ’60s’ and ’70s’ as they serenaded the Lacrosse stalwart, and campus-renowned Hugh Stu BNOC, Sophie Pluck to celebrate her birthday.

’60s Alex Garfield’ and fellow chanteur ’70s’ serenade Plucky

If you’re athletic and still wondering whether to join the Rugby Team, then I couldn’t recommend it more. Whether you’ve played it at school before, or trying it out for the first time, I wouldn’t hesitate to join. It’s a great way to meet people, make some good friends, have some terrific nights out and play some great sport. I won’t be joining the team, I’m beyond a ‘lost-case’…I get out of breath running for the 34 bus to Uni and the girls in my house definitely have larger biceps than I.

I will, however, try to sneak into another pre-Crisis social. If they let me.

Go on the Nottingham University Rugby Football Club page here.

Follow the Lacrosse girls on Twitter here at @UoNLadiesLax

Featured image taken by Gary Pitt from GGPitt photography. Like here on facebook.