Why Tequila Tuesdays at The Mischief is the best Norwich night out you’ve never heard of

Can you remember your last Wednesday morning? Yes? How vile. Looks like there’s not enough mid-week-getting-fucked and regret in your life. Let me present the case for Tequila Tuesdays, absolutely not the best night out in Norwich, but then again, definitely not the shittest!

Pre drinks – the hook:

Its a Tuesday night, you haven't been out since Saturday and, although at the time you thought it was fine, you now realise that it was actually quite below fine, and upon seeing your bank statement you deduce that the guy you know who works at Mercy in fact DID charge you for doubles and that he's a fucking snake. But it’s Tuesday and you have nothing you actually WANT to do tomorrow, and you sort of want to get mashed, but in a very mellow way.

This is the perfect climate for a Tequila Tuesday.

Your flatmates say “yeah sure why not” and you’re gassed. Pre’s are in full flow, we’re talking strongbow dark fruits that someone’s boyfriend left at your flat last week and that weird fruity wine that everyone always has. It’s actually above average. That flat that are a bit too edgy to go out on a Saturday turned up, instantly increasing the waviness of your flat by a 4 pack of red-stripes worth.

Everyone looks a bit natty and very tuesday-night-ish, but given that it IS a Tuesday night, that's fine. You’re actually pretty buzzed for your mid-week sesh and low-key quite proud of your suggestion, if it weren't for you everyone would be watching Blue Planet or washing up or something equally not-going-out-ish.

Walk- The “oh no is this gonna be shit?”

What an absolute banger of a time to realise that Mischief is actually fucking miles away and it's 0 fucking degrees in Norwich. You’ve just been having a wavey time in your cozy little flat only to be tossed into the harsh Norfolk winds. Have you made a huge mistake? Will your flat literally never ever trust you to make a single going-out decision ever again, meaning you will be stuck in an endless monotonous cycle of Thursday Karma, Friday Props, Saturday Mercy until you weep VK tears? Only time and tequila will tell.

You can't tell but their legs have actually frozen off

The Mischief – Cause of death: trampled by a million sweaty drunk art students

You’re 3 seconds into Mischief and have already spotted 90 percent of the people you've ever met in your time in Noz. Do you remember that guy’s name that you got off with last week in Mantra? No? Well it’s a sick time to ask him coz he's at the bar and he’s ready for a long night of avoiding eye contact.

Essentially, it’s fucking rammed.

It’s a erratic mix of baby faced first years and 60 year old men that misread the vibe and turned up for a pint on a Tuesday, or maybe turned up for all the classic old-man-at-the-club reasons. But it's warm and loud and actually the fact that everyone that has ever set foot in Norwich is there is a good thing, because you can track down all those people you never talk to sober and tell then how cool you've always thought they were as you have a piss together.

The actual shining light of Tequila Tuesday, except from the tequila, is about to be bellowed at you by someone, who exclaims “what the fuck it’s £3 triples?! Is that even legal?”

Everyone’s a bit smashed, and are double fisting two triples each – someone rammed full of student loan just bought a round of tequila, the walk that bought you shame has been forgotten and someone’s even thrown up, Tuesday is back on track!

Customer (bald) and Bartender (bald) having a questionable little thumbs up over the joy of a £3 triple

I would describe Mischief as “wacky”, because it doesn't really make sense does it? Why is it so far away from the real world? What’s that whole cash in return for card payments thing about? What kind of people go there when it’s NOT Tequila Tuesdays?

That being said, the smoking area is a solid 10, nice toilets, it's bare warm inside, and it kind of gives off the vibe that it’s run by your cousin. Most importantly, if you haven’t got the cash to splash, it’s £3 for triples.

She's thinking about how terrible it would have been to spend her Tuesday watching a Louis Theroux documentry and sippin' on a trip'

Your Tequila Tuesday is done. If you’ve successfully manoeuvred your way through each venue like a a game of snakes and ladders (the walk to The Mischief being the snake) and taken FULL advantage of all there individual assets you should be feeling a very mellow fucked and happy in a better-than-you expected way. Unfortunately because its a Tuesday and only the fake people (aka students and the unemployed) are out, all the best takeaways are closed and you’ll have to settle for something from JustEat or some boiled penne.

STILL BETTER THAN ANY TUESDAY SPENT NOT AT TEQUILA TUESDAY!