Just because I don’t drink, it doesn’t mean I’m a killjoy

It’s about half past seven on a Thursday evening, and a few of my flat mates and I are getting ready to go out.  While they’re drinking various cocktail concoctions, or gin and tonics, I’m drinking coffee.

No, it’s not because I’m on antibiotics.  Nor is it because I’m driving.  And it’s definitely not because I’ve had a “bad experience with alcohol in the past”.  It’s simply because I choose not to drink alcohol.  Cue shocked reactions and gasps of horror.

The thing is, I’ve never even considered drinking of my own accord.  I’ve tried drinks that my friends have given me, but nothing about them made me think “I want to drink this more often”.  If I were drinking for pleasure, I would always choose non-alcoholic before alcohol – I just find it more enjoyable.

My face when you ask me why I don’t drink

I’ve been incredibly lucky in the sense that I’ve never felt any pressure in regards to getting drunk.  Being Irish especially, where people feel that drinking is part of their national identity, it would have been easy to be swept along in a drinking culture in which people don’t feel socially validated unless they’re drinking.

It’s also accountable to the fact that my dad doesn’t drink alcohol either.  Many sons look to their fathers as role models, and I looked to mine and he didn’t drink alcohol.  In no way did this make him a better or worse parent, but drinking alcohol was never there for me to follow as an example.

Back to our night out, and we’ve inevitably ended up at the pub.  We all buy our drinks, the only difference is that mine costs 99p where as others’ gin and tonics cost £5.  We find a table somewhere upstairs, slightly out of the way, and just talk.

Surprisingly, the pub is my favourite place to end a night out.  People often ask why the pub and not a club or the LCR.  How would I even “deal with the LCR” they ask.  I don’t really want to have to “deal” with it.

Why should people have to deal with a night out and not just enjoy it?  I’ve ended up in fits of laughter on the floor, piggy backed around campus dressed as a hobbit at 2AM, and made some great friends, all without ever having to “deal” with a night out.

The response to this is usually that I’m missing out, or even that I’m a killjoy.  I can guarantee that at the end of the night, I’ll be the one skipping down the street singing, having consumed no alcohol whatsoever, so please don’t tell me I’m a killjoy.

Just as we’re constantly encouraged to do on rugby socials, “getting weird” is something I do easily, and with joy, without alcohol.  I’d rather my weirdness come from being comfortable in the company of the people I’m with, than being so off my face that I can’t remember where I am.  The people you’re with should be what make your nights out good, not just how “bladdered” or “shitfaced” you get.

Ultimately, people who don’t drink have just as much fun as those who do (plus we remember all the embarrassing stuff you did that night).  So please don’t assume we’re all straight edge killjoys, and definitely don’t try to justify to us why you do drink.

Just because we choose not to drink doesn’t mean that we judge you because you do.  There is nothing wrong with drinking – my friends do it, my family do it, it’s just that I choose not to.

The choice is mine alone, and all I ask is that people respect my decision – just as I respect theirs.