Bring on the tears, it’s the last in the series of Take Me Out!

It’s the last in the series of the chaotic dating show and the atmosphere is high with desperation and last-ditch attempts to score a date. There are 30 girls and only 4 guys…the chances are not looking good for most of the girls! A few of them have been there since the first week, so I’m hoping they get lucky tonight…although I’ll be annoyed if picky Lucy gets a date.

First guy down the Love Lift is Tony from Newcastle who captures the girls’ wild sides, with Leila calling him a “sexy beast” and desperate Rachel comparing him to Tony the tiger (she’ll eat him for breakfast, she claims!). We find out that Tony has a daughter, who cutely wishes that her dad had a girlfriend so that he can stop being grumpy. The revelation that Tony is a sewage worker, however, puts a lot of the girls off. In the third round, we are shown Tony’s very effective pulling technique – basically, he grabs the bottom of his shirt to blow his nose on, causing him to reveal his lovely toned abs! Tracey gleefully admits that she would also take her top off for him. This offer doesn’t seem to interest Tony though, as he chooses Lisa to be his date.

Next up is Oba from Birmingham who is immediately pounced on by Rachel, asking him to do the “skinny jeans test” which involves lunging. In the second round, Oba does a dance routine that mostly involves his perfected version of “the worm”. Ayeesha excitedly tries to teach Oba and Paddy how to Zumba, while Rachel, clutching at straws just a tad, says that her best move is “the caterpillar” which is basically just her lying on the floor. Oba’s nickname is revealed to be “Mr 50 First Dates” thanks to him taking all of his many dates to the same bar, leaving many of the girls unimpressed. The last two girls standing are Rachel (hallelujah!) and Kirsten. He eventually picks Kirsten who seems very overwhelmed, judging by the tears welling in her eyes.

The third guy is Dave from London who, according to Rachel, has a head that sits on his shoulders like a triangle! Dave describes himself as having a big heart, shown by the clip of him bowling with his mate’s kids, as well as a mummy’s boy. His willingness to help his mum around the house sparks a lot of interest; new girl Louie states that she liked seeing him with the hoover. Paddy goes over to Lucy and tells Dave how special he must be as she never keeps her light on for anyone…annoyingly, this is probably a great tactic on the show’s part to get Lucy a date with him. Dave whittles the girls down to Danielle and Lucy, and after a lot of thought he goes for Danielle! Good choice.

Paddy claims that he’s left the best till last…David from Berkshire is the last single lad of the series to emerge from the Love Lift! Inevitably, David is a model who has even been on the cover of Men’s Fitness. Despite this, he is single and honestly admits that the main reason he wants a girlfriend is because he needs a date for his sister’s wedding!

By the end of the second round, all thirty lights are still on which is probably a record in this game. He chooses Lucy and Katie as his final two girls, purely because one of them is brunette and the other blonde…unfortunately, he picks Lucy. Definitely a fix!

There is yet more disappointment in Fernandos this week when Cony fails to get in the water on her snorkelling date with Luke and then rudely tells him later that he’s not her type. On Rob and Annie’s date, there is hardly any conversation and there is a lot of awkwardness when he accidently insults her burger van business. However, there seems to be hope for Steph and Doug as they seem to get on really well and even start organising their second date which will involve a roast dinner!

As it’s the last episode, Paddy flies out to Fernandos and we are shown the dates from the couples matched earlier on. Kirsten and Oba seem to lack chemistry and she says to the camera afterwards that she found him too nice and would have liked there to be a bit of banter. Dave and Danielle’s date, on the other hand, definitely didn’t lack good humoured banter. There seemed to be a slight hiccup when Danielle revealed that she’ll be moving to Dubai for six months, although Dave happily accepted her invitation to go out and visit. Tony and Lisa want to see each other again after their date, although she is slightly dubious about a tattoo he got while on a stag do. David cannot hide his excitement when he finds out that Lucy is a glamour model, and their whole date goes swimmingly, although I’m still not convinced he really wanted to choose her!

Number of guys I would have left my light on for: 2 (Dave and David)
Paddy’s best line: “Let the Yorkshire see the pudding!”

And now for last week's penultimate episode…

The girls are desperate and the guys are cocky…well, more so than usual. It’s the penultimate episode, which means that there is only a little bit of time left to score a date and get on that plane to Fernandos! Surely there won’t be any “blackouts” at this point in the series?

Lee from Cambridgeshire, the first lad who emerges from the Love Lift, unfortunately brings a lot of disappointment to the thirty single ladies. He describes his style as “alternative” but many of the comments from the girls include the idea that he resembles a pimp and that his handlebar moustache looks very much like Captain Hook’s. In his video, Lee expresses his love for shopping and dressing up, as well as his party animal ways. Amazingly, a few girls are still interested, although his Lord of the Rings themed personal cinema makes Tracey turn off her light purely because she’s not a fan of the fantasy film series. Unsurprisingly, Lee gets a BLACKOUT! The girls chant “All By Myself” as Lee scurries away with a deflated ego.

The second guy, Doug from Bristol, is off to a flying start with everyone’s lights turned on…except for picky Lucy’s who claims that his trousers are too high. Not that she’s much of a loss as the girls all lust over him and his good looks. It’s revealed that he has a motorbike passion and has a younger brother who he is trying to guide.

However, Doug’s comment that he prefers older women turns off a few lights and raises a comment or two from the ladies. Desperate Rachel says that for him, she would throw away her under-eye cream and dye her hair grey! In the third round, Doug does a topless boxing routine/dance and has several girls to choose from. Rachel makes a final attempt to impress him by saying she once took up kickboxing in order to tone up her bingo wings…too bad that he turns off her light. Doug eventually chooses Steph, who is very surprised by his decision but chuffed nevertheless.

Next up is Luke from London and everyone, including Lucy, keeps their lights turned on. We find out that he’s an athlete who has been training for eight years with hopes to someday win an Olympic medal. In the third round, his mum reveals to the girls that there would be a third wheel if Luke ever had a relationship with one of them, in the form of his cat Tabitha! Apparently he spends a lot of time with her, and has even been caught on many occasions talking to her about his deepest worries. A couple of the girls talk about their own pet cats, while Rachel in full desperate mode once again reveals that she once slept with her friend’s cat and liked it. After ignoring Rachel, he chooses Cony as his date and admits that she was the first girl to catch his eye.

The final single lad of the night is Rob from Warwickshire, and once again picky Lucy is the only uninterested girl. Apparently his entrance to “Mysterious Girl” excited her because she thought he would be a Peter Andre lookalike, leading to disappointment once she saw him. One girl goes on a bit about how much she loves Rob’s blue eyes, although he corrects her and says that his eyes are in fact green. He’s revealed to be somewhat of a poser with his flashy car and loves getting attention.

Weirdly, he has a present phobia which confuses all the girls, although Nicola sympathetically confides in him about her equally as odd fear of Mini Cheddars. The third round consists of a giant present being lowered from the ceiling which is courageously opened by Rob to reveal…a Stevie Wonder impersonator who bursts into song while Paddy drapes Rob in birthday decorations and gives him a cake! After this complete randomness, he chooses burger van Annie as his date.

Meanwhile, in Fernandos… There’s clearly a spark between our Norwich boy Greg and his date Jo, with a second date looking very likely. Surprisingly, Bambos is not put off by Katie’s inappropriate comments (“You look like one of my exes actually”) and her millions of questions (“Have you ever cheated on anyone?”). It turns out he actually finds her honest and quirky, as opposed to weird and desperate. Their date ends with a kiss as they start to plan their second date. Fiona’s date with stand up comedian Matt is hilarious, although not down to his jokes. He’s clearly not naturally funny because when she asks him for a joke, he pauses for a long time and in the end cannot think of one!

Number of guys I would have left my light on for: 2 (Doug and Rob)
Paddy’s best line: “Let the Banana see the Rama!”