Things our Mums were right about

Looking back at the advice our mums gave us before uni, we really wish we had listened to her.

Learning how to cook is essential

Loading up our shopping trollies as doe-eyed freshers we were convinced that our mums were exaggerating about the importance of the culinary arts. After all who has time to learn how to make lasagne when Tesco is offering three pizzas for a fiver?

Sadly, after three years of eating a diet consisting of Supernoodles, toast and vodka we all secretly wish that we had at least learnt the basics.

Instead the oven is a useless appliance and if we have a Nigella moment and attempt to make anything harder than an instant meal, we know that the rest of our evening will be spent spooning the toilet and praying for a swift end to our misery.

Don’t get too drunk

“It was just the one drink, I swear!”

We’ve all seen that worried looks cross our mum’s face as we try and explain what trebles are. Undoubtedly this conversation will be followed by a long rant about “killing our livers”, “irresponsible behaviour” and everyone’s personal favourite: “In my day two drinks were enough”.

However, every morning that we wake-up minus our dignity but plus one hell of a hangover, our mum’s advice about pacing ourselves and drinking water seems like the best idea ever. Damn it.

Procrastination is a sin

For any of you with a dissertation looming over you, you know how frustrating this line is.

Yes, we realise that last minuet all-nighters in the library never end well.

Yes, we will probably call you crying about our word count.

And yes, we know that if we fail you won’t be angry you will just be “disappointed”.

But right now we have to watch the entire series of The Breaking Bad before we can even think about putting pen to paper.

Dress appropriately

Or in other words; under no circumstances is it ok to wear a onesie in public… Ever.

That one day that you don’t take your mums advice and think that popping to the corner shop in your PJs is a good idea, will be the day that you see every single person that you know.

Take it from someone with bitter experience, nothing in life can prepare anyone for the humiliation you will feel when your ex catches you buying a box of wine whilst you are basically dressed a gigantic toddler.

Leading a champagne lifestyle on a cider budget is never a good idea

Our shiny new loan plops into our account at the start of term and it seems rude not to spend it. But after a week living like Kim Kardashian, we realise that we are officially skint and feel more like Kerry Katona.

Suddenly we are counting our copper pennies just to fund a night out and having to make that phone call home begging for some cash.

“Mum, I promise I spent it on books for my course!”

Don’t chase dickheads

Mums are always right about that hot guy/girl you met on Tinder. Our mummy dearests can see right through the charm of the hottie who, despite being a solid 9/10, has a bit of a reputation and is guaranteed to hump n’ dump your single arse within a week.

Unfortunately all the motherly advice in the world cannot stop us fawning over someone tall, dark and slutty, especially if they are an expert in ‘treating em mean, to keep em keen’.

On the plus side our mums will always be there with a box of tissues and an industrial sized Galaxy bar to cheer us up.