12 hauntingly basic costumes you’ll find in Newcastle this Halloween

Kenough is Kenough

6 months ago

It’s that time of year again where we have to put our thinking caps on and choose a memorable outfit for Halloween. You need to decide whether you want to be sexy or scary, funny or fearsome – the list goes on. Knowing Newcastle, however, the likelihood of seeing bombshell Barbies and sun-kissed Kens is very high (some could say too high).

Now, without bringing the mood down completely, the word “basic” springs to mind. What could be worse than this? Not much. In fact, I would rather trick or treat down Osborne Road completely sober than ever have to dress up as a black cat again. It’s nothing personal, it’s just not creative. On that note, let’s take a look at the 12 most basic costumes you’ll find in Newcastle this Hallo-weekend:

1. Magic Mike

Chances of seeing a Channing Tatum wannabe on the streets of Jesmond this Halloween? Incredibly high. Medals to all those who can actually pull this look off though. I, for one, always end up resembling a not so sexy Eminem. Whoever invented white tanks needs a slap.

2. Pirate

As much as I want to, I really can’t fault the pirate costume besides its popularity. You’ve got the floaty sleeves, the satin headscarf and of course, the fake sword to top it all off. Jack Sparrow would be proud.

3. Barbie or Ken

Perhaps the most basic Halloween costume of 2023. If you’re going as either one of these characters, you’ve probably got too much confidence for your own good. Maybe just stick with the “I am Kenough” sweats and call it a day?

4. Angel/devil

Another incredibly basic but popular choice of costume. We get it, you look good in a halo and wings. So did I back in my nativity.

5. Black cat

Whilst I have already attacked the black cat costume, I think it deserves its own paragraph. There’s just something so lazy about this look. I understand it’s probably a last minute choice, but there’s only so many times you can draw whiskers on your face and call it a costume.

6. Sexy cowboy/cowgirl

I see your classic cowboy costume and raise you a sexy space cowboy. Are you an alien? Are you Woody from Toy Story? No one knows and no one really cares. Same goes for a cheerleader.

7. Men in Black

On the topic of outer space, Men in Black is a costume bound to creep up on you this Halloween. The suit, the sunglasses, the Space Raider-looking alien you’ve spent half an hour blowing up. It’s a statement, to say the least.

8. Mario and Luigi

Along with Thing 1 and Thing 2, Mario and Luigi are reserved for the duos that have zero creativity. Why can’t you just think outside the box and do something like Step Brothers? Alternatively, a walking ick might be a more suitable choice.

9. Peaky Blinders

No fighting. However, this is another very basic Halloween costume you’ll likely find in the Toon. Maybe it’s the flat cap or waistcoat, but something about this definitely screams agric. I guess it makes sense to recycle the Blinkers outfit.

10. Fairy

The fairy is undoubtedly one of the most basic costumes a Newcastle student could choose. You could literally wear a bin bag with wings and you would pass as Tinkerbell.

11. American Pyscho

The whole Patrick Bateman TikTok trend was quite cool last year but if I come across another see-through Mac this Halloween, I might just lose my mind. Other fictional and non-fictional characters such as Dahmer or Bundy shouldn’t even cross your mind. Instead, maybe consider buying some cheerios and going as a “Cereal Killer”. How cute.

12. Scooby Doo Gang

So original! Oh wait. Truthfully, this is quite a wholesome group costume and I’m probably just bitter that none of my friends would partake in wearing bright purple all night. Round of applause to all those committed to the retro cause.