Wakefield, the true capital of the North
It’s not actually that grim
Wakefield may have been crowned as worst city to live in by the Telegraph, but we are proud to live here no matter what you may think of us.
Often referred to as ‘Shakey Wakey’, we are proud of our ‘city’. Yes, it’s a city – we have a cathedral and everything.
Here’s a few of the reasons why no matter how far we stray from ‘Wakey’, it will always be in our hearts.
Clearly the number one thought that springs to mind when thinking of Wakefield is a night out on the Westgate run. It could be deemed the Magaluf of the north, with its array of ‘sophisticated’ clubs and bars. For those returning from University, going out in ‘Shakey Wakey’ often feels like a time warp/school reunion because nothing has changed.
For example, what about a trip to HD Sports bar, where you can spend your night sweating in the smallest dance floor known to man feeling like you are back in sixth form. And if you aren’t old enough we all know that a trip down the side of HD and in through the back door used to work a treat, until they brought in a bouncer at the back (an absolute disgrace).
Let’s not lie, we do enjoy a boogie in Kooky’s. But we will forever associate it with the end of the best club in Wakefield. Who can forgot Havana and Buzz? Remember the sense of achievement when you got into Havana, or the amazing experience that was the RnB room in Buzz. These were the places of sixth form dreams but now they are empty and sad, replaced by Kooky’s filling us with nostalgia for the good old days.
But once you decide that the constant bopping to UK top 40 tunes has become enough, this is when Wakefield really comes into its own. As there is only one place that can cure your drunken hunger, and that is the famous pie shop. Because where else can you buy a pie after your night out? There is nothing more northern, and nothing that makes us prouder. And they even sell t-shirts, as a souvenir of your pie shop experience.
And if the pie shop doesn’t do it for you, then there are other takeaways. I mean some even carry on the party after the clubs have closed.
Wakefield is clearly the Hollywood of England for creating celebrities. I mean you can deny it all you like but we even have our own Hollywood sign.
With the likes of Chloe Mafia, who is famous for her debut in x-factor. Or Chanelle Hayes winner of celebrity big brother. Clearly Wakefield is a breeding ground for fame. But if your not all about reality television we can also boast as being the birthplace of the cribs. We even have bloody Wakefield stars. If we aren’t the L.A of the North then you are kidding yourself.
But Wakefield would be nothing without the retail experience. Of particular class is the Ridings. Many a year eight Saturday was spent scanning the isles of ‘xtras’ for that pink hair-dye so you could look extra scene. But nothing marks the Ridings experience better (or worse) than that smell outside Primark. Where did it come from? No-one knows but it is sure here to stay.
Then it lost its reigning glory, with the creation of trinity walk. Now we have a sleek and ‘posh’ shopping centre. But it’s all an illusion because the minute you leave its modern trimmings you are back to the drab centre.
But nothing screams that you’re from Wakey more than our accents. We are proud of our strong accents, which often come with numerous phrases, such as describing someone of particular disgust as a ‘scratter’ or playing out with your friends as ‘laikin out’. Also the word ‘the’ just isn’t allowed in Wakefield, there is clearly a banning of this word within our vocabulary.
For outsiders it can be hard to identify our accent, leading to the inevitable question of “So where you from?”, which is greeted with the inevitable answer, “Wakefield”, and the even more inevitable response “Where?”, “It’s near Leeds”.
But we are more than just “near Leeds”, we are Wakey and we are proud.