This is what the new Owens Park is going to look like

The tower is being knocked down

Images have been released for the dramatic rennovation of Owens Park into a “student village” to house 1000 extra students.

They are planning to spend £200 million on making our beloved shit-hole OP a nice place to live.

Our beloved Tower is going to be smashed into smithereens and replaced by a village green.

Bye bye baby, baby goodbye

Owens Park, the city’s biggest student residential campus, will be “surrounded by clusters of student flats and townhouses” in an attempt to turn it into “the jewel in the crown” of university accommodation.

In order to make room for the extra students 80 mature trees will have to take the chop. A “regrettable but unfortunately inevitable” loss according to proposal outline.

The new campus will have a student services centre and shops as well as a doctors surgery.

A slight improvement on the lonely source cafe we all know and love. The makeover will also see “lawns with outdoor ‘chaise longues’”. That’s posh French for sofas to us common folk.

Thankfully the proposal plans to keep the Armitage, Richmond Park and Woolton halls as they are.  (Proving how posh they were in the first place.)

Something the plans don’t tell us is what is to become of Squirrells.

Currently a draft masterplan for the site has been approved and the planning application has been submitted to the council.

Second year ex-OP inhabitant Rob said: “It won’t be the same without the Tower. Its the first thing that comes to mind when anyone says Owens Park”

Whereas current tower-dweller Amber said: “It’s about time they knocked it down. You can tell  it’s been here forever.”