Why do I fancy everyone in the library?
I think I’ve got a case of the library goggles
Our dedication to the library is having a serious detrimental impact on our better judgement.
It’s almost as if we’re only allowed to gain knowledge at the expense of our standards. Each day we spend holed up in the library we can feel our grasp on what is socially acceptable slipping further and further out of reach.
I’m talking about library goggles. They’re like beer goggles but without the beer. Weirdly, you haven’t had a beer in weeks if not months.
If there was a dictionary definition, it would be something like “to be intrigued/fascinated/fancy/fantasise about a fellow student in the library who is of average looks but, because you have been in the library for days, they seem like models.”
Do you know where they sit and choose your spot so you can sneak a peek when they’re not looking? We all do it don’t we?
Have you been to the toilet five times in the past hour just to cop a glance at the girl drooling all over her books? Do you find yourself gazing longingly at a guy only to realise he has been playing games on miniclip for the past hour?
Sure they’re not your usual type… but they can’t be too bad, can they?
I hate to admit it, but they’re the reason I put make up in morning, and pick a dress over a hoodie.
If you’re a sufferer, you’ll know that a week into your intense revision schedule and all hopes for subtlety are out the window. You don’t care if they catch you creeping and you almost enjoy the awkward eye contact. By this point you’re convinced they are the love of your life and it’s about time they knew it.
Their spluttery coughing and nose picking doesn’t seem to bother you any more and the fact they eat their three meals a day sat at a desk in Blue 3 is almost endearing.
It doesn’t phase you when they remove their jumper to reveal a Topman 2 for £10 neon t-shirt and you don’t even care that they don’t speak English.
Now you’ve reached the point of no return.
But be warned – as soon as you leave the library bubble there’s no turning back. The goggles are off and you are merely left with the awkward eye contact, self-loathing and the fear of what might have been post-exams January 2015.