Nothing saintly about it
The Tab tries Paddy’s Day a more fun way to go green…
1pm: Arrive at O’Shea’s in town and head straight to the bar for a liquid breakfast of Magners to start a messy day.
3pm: The place began to fill up quickly as the band set up. The presence of a band is essential to creating the right atmosphere as it tends to ensure poor but enthusiastic dancing and loud, bad, but ultimately very enjoyable singing. Special mention goes to the guitarist who managed to play the guitar behind his head! It was either unbelievably impressive, or we were all drunk. Eighteen year old Liam O’Brien thought the place was “bloody brilliant”, announcing he was “an Irish guy trapped in an English guy’s body.”
4:45pm: After meeting parents in the toilets trying to set up their sons with intoxicated students and having my drink knocked over by a guy who then sang the entire song of “Sex on fire” to me as an apology, my friends and I took the cue to head back to the glory of Fallowfield to drink at home – besides we’re cheap students!
5:30pm: We manage to get back to Fallowfield and head straight to McDonalds to ease our drunken munchies. After taming the beasts in our tummies, we headed to Edgerton Road and began to drink cheap cider at a friend’s house for several hours.
8pm: Leaving the warmth of student housing, we headed to Friendship Inn to start on the Jameson’s. After creating a new business enterprise with strangers and thoroughly embarrassing ourselves, we headed off to the next bar.
9pm: Ordering numerous shots and posh cocktails with bizarre names at Vodka Revs led me and my friends to acquire the bravery to conquer the empty dance floor as our own. Winning a dance off with an unexpected stranger, we took this as a cue to leave, not first without wishing the bouncers “a banging evening”.
10pm: 256 was our final destination. This seemed to be the culmination of most people’s nights as it felt like it was filled with the whole of the student population. The last thing I remember is getting asked to stop dancing on the tables. Cheers to next year!
Please note all of these times are estimates. I have no memory of exact times.
Top tips for next time round:
1. Dress up. Don’t be a boring dick.
2. If you head to an Irish bar, go early to grab seats and man them the WHOLE time.
3. Remember to eat at some point- f you don’t, it won’t end well.
4. Drink. Drink. Oh and did I say drink?
5. Oh and don’t attempt an Irish accent if you are not Irish – you WILL be caught out.