We came up with eight humiliating Never-Have-I-Evers for your next night out
Here’s a drinking game you didn’t know you need
Pres at Spoons get dull after the fifth Sports Night, right?
The will-they-won’t-they couple has already hooked up, the blackout drinker is already worryingly tipsy, and those Sourz shots are going down like water (scientific fact: London students have an insane alcohol tolerance).
Don’t worry, we’ve got a way for you to spice things up: here’s a list of the most embarrassing Never-Have-I-Ever questions you’ve got to try out on your next night out.
1. Never Have I Ever shaved in a club bathroom
You promised yourself that you wouldn’t hook up with anyone at the club and ditch your mates, but that person on the dance floor is looking like Adonis. Self-consciously, you slink off to the bathroom to dry-shave off those leg hairs you missed. The bathroom lady is more than happy to offer you a disposable razor at an exorbitant price.
2. Never Have I Ever bought a Tesco meal deal
Want to uncover a hidden private school kid? This one’ll get them, especially if the accent gets stronger after a drink. “Never have I evaaaaaah been into a Tescœ.”
3. Never Have I Ever puked at a friend’s flat
Either this friend is holding your hair back or you have to lie about why the toilet seat is sticky. Pick wisely.
4. Never Have I Ever lied about my degree/which university I go to
Sometimes it’s tiring being you and this is a fun way to spice it up. Can I introduce you to Anna Delvey, German heiress, previously at CSM? Maybe you could even defraud Wall Street if you’re slick enough about it!
(Statistically, the most commonly mimicked accents are American and Australian if you’re fresh out of ideas.)
5. Never Have I Ever shown up drunk for a lecture
Honestly, the mistake is on whoever scheduled the timetable to include a 9 AM on Thursday morning. It’s a universally known fact that some people are still drinking at 5 AM and sobriety is a distant fantasy.
6. Never Have I Ever been rejected at Sports Night
Mistaken some eye contact for *vibes*? Sometimes, people are just looking at you because you’re dressed in a costume according to your sports team’s theme, bro.
7. Never Have I Ever actually said ‘rahh, where’s my ‘baccy?’
It always starts as irony but dissolves into an actual habit. Sure, you may have joked around in the smoking area, but now you’re outside Urban Outfitters with your best friends Pistachio and Mildred-Elaine, wondering: raaaah… where the hell is my ‘baccy?
8. Never Have I Ever physically gotten with someone on university grounds
There should be some kind of rule where people have to map out where they’ve gotten with each other on campus. Nobody wants to know what those stains on the department’s common room couches are, but I think we all can guess.
If you sit on them… you silly, silly person.