This is the UCLU Men’s Hockey team playing on the opening night of Varsity
‘We won it last year and we’re ready to do it again’
UCL men’s hockey 1st XI would not conform. We would not be traditional, orthodox, or unoriginal. We would be bold, brave and revolutionary.
We would not pass to our fellow team mates… no. We would pass straight to the opposition centre forward! It’s a tactic performed to perfection by our very own captain, Sam Letcher, and you too have the chance to view this strategic work of art unfold this Friday in Varsity.
As Harvey Dent in Batman once said: “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain.” This case has never been more true than of UCLUMHC’s very own Richard Maver, who finds himself competing in his 17th varsity series, whilst completing his 5th PHD at his 4th different university.
Seventeen years after his first varsity, he has been married, had two kids, divorced, and then remarried. And yet, just like the dark knight, Maver has a chance at redemption, to defy his old university. Will the Dark Knight return? Find out this Friday night at…. Varsity.
Other narratives to keep an eager eye on; can Will Nunn muster the courage to pass the ball? Will Ben Ang continue to confuse Friday’s and Wednesday’s? Will Chris Barker be allowed out afterwards by his mrs? Will Sam Currie continue to flirt his way into the friendzone? Will all this excitement stimulate growth in Danny Wheller’s receding hair follicles?
Lance Armstrong, who, after recovering from multiple cancers that included but were not limited to testicular, lung and brain, won a record seven tour de France only to have his medals taken away and his legacy irreversibly tarnished by the ‘stunning’ yet not really stunning revelation that he had indeed been using performance enhancing drugs to cheat.
If this is the type of drama that you are after, head down to Lee Valley Hockey Stadium on Friday evening for some lively action vs Kings. Just like the Tour de France there will be guaranteed use of performance enhancing drugs, excessive amounts of cheating and, similar to Armstrong, there will be a significant lack of brain cells on the Kings side of the ball.
Let’s meet the players:
Ben Ang BSc Psychology 1st Year
Sam Currie BA Politics and Eastern European Studies 1st Year
Marck Lauxtermann BA Classics 2nd Year
Peter Makin BA Colouring 1st Year
Toby Hughes MSci Natural Sciences 3rd Year
Casper van Lynden BSc Marine Technology 3rd Year
Kai Jenkins MSci Physics 1st Year
Richard Maver MSc Population Health 4th Year PG
Chris Barker BSc Economics 2nd Year
Will Nunn BSc Natural Sciences 3rd Year
Dan Johnston BSc Architecture 2nd Year
Henry Shapland MSci Natural Sciences 3rd Year
Pratinav Sinha BSc Economics 1st Year
Tom Pyman MSc Geographical Information Science 4th Year
Danny Wheller MEng Mechanical Engineering 4th Year
Lucian Smith BSc Anthropology 3rd Year
Sam Letcher (C) MSc Chemistry 3rd Year
Matt Nawrat BA Ancient History and Egyptology 2nd Year
So get down to the opening night of the 2017 London Varsity Series at the Lee Valley Hockey Centre in the Olympic Park this Friday. The boys match starts at 8.30pm, the girls starts at 6.30pm. Come and show your support!
Information humbly supplied by UCLU Men’s Hockey