These are the people that want your vote in Holborn and St Pancras

Surely you’re not bored of politics yet


Elections are imminent, there’s no two ways about it. If you’ve still not decided which candidate is worthy of your democratic exercise, we’re here to help.

The UCL constituency is Holborn and St Pancras, an area that stretches from Covent Garden and Holborn, right the way up to Highgate. A Labour stronghold since 1983, this seat is hotter than Nigel Farage in a Ukrainian community centre, with Green Party leader Natalie Bennett trying to make the most of the 30% of UCL students who say they’ll vote for her.

Lengthy

Lengthy

Here are the candidates:

Natalie Bennett – Green Party

Transport Placard

Plenty of green in Camden

This hard-nosed, ex-hash-cake-eating, Sydney born Aussie has overseen the fall from grace for the Greens who are now voted the second favourite party behind their labour counterparts, by university finalists. But Natalie Bennett still wants your vote.

As leader of the Green Party, she’s a potential PM, but she cares about Camden too. She wants to rid the borough of HS2, the controversial train line coming to Euston soon, she also wants free university education and an increase in grants instead of loans. She’s even promised to pay the tuition fees back to people currently at university. Of course, she’s also advocating saving the planet – she wants an end to trident and an end to fossil fuel. All of this would be funded through a new ‘robin hood’ wealth tax.

Chance of winning?

According to the polls, Natalie is unlikely to make it with 11.3 per cent of votes predicted to go her way. Don’t rule out the greeny though, it’s still all to play for.

Vote for her if:

You love nature, free education or higher taxes for the rich.

Will Blair – Conservative

Do I look like a Tory in this?

Does this shirt make me look like a Tory?

Born in Dorset, Big Willy attended his local comprehensive before gaining a scholarship for sixth form and earning a place to study History at – wait for it –  Oxford. He moved to London after graduating and has worked in Parliament as the shadow immigration officer. Will now works for a communications company in Holborn.

Will’s currently fighting to keep the Black Cap in Camden open. A keen advocate of LGBT rights, Blair claims this pub is a “historic and iconic LGBT venue”. Alongside his chum Dave, Will also wants to raise the minimum wage and the tax-free threshold to £12,500. To quote his master, DC, Will wants to crack on with “the long term plan, which is working”.

Chance of winning?

The polls aren’t looking too sweet for Mr Blair, who’s expected to pick up 17.7 per cent of the vote, ahead of the Greens but behind the Reds of Labour.

Vote for him if:

You’re loving life at the moment, a vote for the Tories is a vote for continuity. Also worth voting for if you’re doing a lot of part-time work and don’t want to creep over that current £10,600 tax-free threshold, or you’re big into LGBT rights.

Jill Fraser – Liberal Democrats

Not sure what to do with her hands

Not sure what to do with her hands

Experienced chippy worker Jill has heard all the local concerns while flipping haddock for the last 22 years. During this time she also served as Mayor of Camden (yes, there is one), and wants to alter the course of local politics.

With two kids working in the NHS, not only is Jill a keen advocate of making the NHS “fit for purpose”, she’s also a pretty decent Mum. She wants to improve schools in Camden and provide free school dinners for infants.

Support for the Lib Dems generally has fallen, particularly among students after Nick Clegg’s tuition-fee U-turn. This time around, they have no plans to reverse any changes. Nonetheless, they do intend to inject an extra £8bn in to the NHS and clamp down on pesky tax-avoiders to “balance the books”.

Chance of winning?

Jill ain’t in bad shape. She’s only expected to receive 12.8 per cent of the votes, but tactical voting could push her forward.

Vote for her if:

You want a born and bred local running the area, you’re very concerned with local politics as opposed to the nationwide race, or you’re just looking for anyone but UKIP.

Maxine Spencer – UKIP

When your hair doubles as a jumper

When your hair doubles as your jumper

Sassy, seductive, searching for your vote. The daughter of West Indian immigrants, Maxine is not your stereotypical UKIP candidate. Maxine tried and failed to get a seat in 2010, but she’s not letting that stop her this time as the full-time carer tries again this month.

Nige has told us enough times what he and his UK Independence Pals are after: closed borders, a points based system for entry and a retraction from the EU. Crucially, she also wants to make STEM degrees (Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths) free at university as long as they stay in the country and pay tax for five years.

Chance of winning?

In a constituency as diverse as Holborn and St Pancras, UKIP have even more reason to hate the polls. But Spencer is still expected to rake in 4.8 per cent of the votes.

Vote for her if:

You don’t like open immigration, you want free STEM degrees, you like Maxine’s pics.

Keir Starmer – Labour 

Slick

Slick

The final of the big-five candidates and more-than-likely future MP comes in the firm of Keir Starmer: a big time lawyer who set up his own law firm in 1990 after graduating from Leeds and Oxford. He’s since travelled the world campaigning for human rights and generally being a full-time legend preventing people facing the death-penalty and using his big ol’ brain to protect basic human rights around the globe.

Starmer’s big on fairness – in line with Labour’s manifesto, he’s hoping to “ensure a fairer future for everyone from Somerstown to Covent Garden”. Labour want to raise the minimum wage to £8 an hour by 2020, provide more apprenticeships and increase taxes for the rich with a mansion tax on properties worth over £2 million, and a 50% tax on earnings over £145k. But opposers are concerned that many of Labour’s policies are funded by more borrowing.

Chance of winning?

Huge, with a predicted 53.1 per cent of the vote. This seat has been a Labour stronghold since before you were just an embryo, don’t expect this to change.

Vote for him if:

You like the idea of a financially fairer society and redistributing the wealth by taxing the rich, or if you think Keir’s a DILF.

Vanessa Hudson – Animal Welfare Party

Vanessa-Hudson-Animal-Welfare-Party-Leader-and-Candidate-Holborn4-234x300

Colourful

Natty B isn’t the only party leader after your vote. Vanessa is leader of the Animal Welfare Party and one of their four candidates. She’s got around a bit: born in Sheffield, raised in Nottingham and moving to London via Hong Kong and Sydney. A proud vegan of 20 years, Vanessa is on a quest to stop speciesism.

AWP want to ensure everyone joins them on their plant-based diet. This, they claim, will help save the NHS and food shortages, as well as protect the environment. They also want to ban animal testing and prevent the slaughter of animals who have not been stunned in advance. They don’t have a lot to say on anything human related.

Chance of winning?

We’re more likely to see Margaret Thatcher in the seat, a minuscule number of votes are expected but with many looking for protest votes, who knows what could happen.

Vote for her if:

You really, really love animals and plants, but want to save the animals and eat the plants.

Shane O’Donnell – CISTA

$W4G

$W4G

If you don’t already know, CISTA stands for Cannabis is Safer than Alcohol. The cannabis capital of the country, Camden, is naturally home to a pro-weeder. Shane has proudly been a smoker for the last 15 years, and runs alongside the co-founder of Bebo, Paul Birch. 

Shane’s hoping to see green in Camden next month, but not the Natalie Bennett kind. 44 per cent of voters already support the legalisation of marijuana, and Shane wants to “debunk skunk” by promoting it’s medicinal properties as well as relatively minor side-effects relative to alcohol.

There’s not a whole lot more to say, Shane just loves Mary Jane.

Chance of winning?

Probably greater than the Animal Welfare Party but still highly unlikely, less than one percent of the vote predicted.

Vote for him if:

You love weed.

David O’Sullivan – Socialist Equality Party

A rosette as big as his dreams xx

A rosette as big as his dreams xx

The Socialist Equality Party have two candidates, of which one is Dave. Do you feel special?  The 51 year old not only has the best haircut out of all the candidates, he also works in London Transport.

The SEP are a pacifist party and are fighting for less austerity and social inequality. Proudly speaking for the working class, the SEP want war and austerity spoken about more, claiming that none of the main parties care. They’re after slamming the brakes on privatisation and the nationalisation of the education and healthcare industries.

Chance of winning?

Slim.

Vote for him if:

You want a socialist alternative to labour in government, dislike war, or don’t really care who you vote for, you just want to vote.

New workplace for someone, but who?

New workplace for someone, but who?

If you’re still unsure who to vote for, check out their pages and read their manifestos.

Whoever gets elected elected on May 7th will be the government in charge when you graduate, so it’s probably a good idea that you get involved – sorry Russell Brand.