Address to the Hermit Population

You are not alone.

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Friends, hermits, countrymen, lend me your ears. For you are the ones who have embraced that precious commodity we call Time. Ninescore and six years ago, our founding father hoped to instil upon the youth of our country the intellectual curiosity and wisdom to set forth onto the ship of education and ride the tides of success. You, comrade, are a sailor upon said ship. A ship, we now call for two long, tiresome months, HMS Revision.

I have a dream, that you and I, fellow hermit, will not be ridiculed for our attempt at hard work nor for our choice of lifestyle. To those who shun thy hobo-like dress sense, thy desk splattered in lined paper, thy crumbs from midnight munching, say ‘NAY!’ For you are the jealous ones, unable to defy procrastination and stab laziness with the pen of knowledge. For the pen is the mighty sword. And you, my friend, shall continue to yield it to combat those lecture notes, those past papers, those reading lists… all shall be demolished by your fiercely focused mind.

And yet locking the door, gluing oneself to one’s laptop, with snacks at the ready and the perfect playlist your only companion, you may seem to have the perfect conditions for production. So then why, you may ask yourself oh hermit, does your attention span wash away like the pebbles on the shore of a forgotten beach? Facebook? YouTube? An innate sense of mental weakness? NO hermit, you are stronger than this. I know you think you have the mind of a weak and feeble student, but you have the heart and stomach of a king. It is not what you have that is preventing you from attaining what you most desperately seek, but it is what you lack. It is the blessing and the curse of the hermit. Loneliness. So my sisters and brothers, take refuge in the knowledge that there are countless others out there, across London, across England, across the World, sharing your blood, toil, tears and sweat. The Great Silent Majority.

My dear hermit, you are not the weed, but the envy of your friends. You may be alone in your room right now, but it is you who will have the executive office, the millionaire mansion, Dom Perignon by the crate and pretentious art work in every room. And though none of us are immune to the distractions of life, when you feel your focus fading, ask not what you can do for your revision, but what your revision can do for you. For us, the light never goes out in our lives, as we power through the night, working whenever we can. Regret for the lectures you missed or the shit you didn’t give for the past six months will not help your situation, hermit; look to the future as Time spans before you with a welcoming smile and arms open wide. You are on the right path my friend, and you have the courage, the determination, the strength to follow it to the end. So keep that tracksuit on, and with a pen in your hand, a song in your heart and your books open wide… Hermits of the world unite!