10 Things You Should Have Known Before Uni
Whether you’re about to graduate or finish your first year, here’s 10 things you should have known…
You know how annoying it is when people give you great advice when it’s too late? Well, we’re about to do just that.
Uni is that once in a lifetime experience, but here’s all the things you wish you’d known and done before you frequented Scouseland.
1. Take a gap year. That year out you promised yourself after uni really isn’t looking too likely when you’re nearing the end of your third overdraft. Plus, the only sun you’re likely to get up north is going to come from a sun bed on Lawrence road…
2. Student loans last a week. For some reason we all seem to think the “your loan will be deposited into your account tomorrow” text means we’ve won the lottery. However, between buying rounds of drinks for strangers and food from Tesco’s Finest range, it won’t be long before your account hits rock bottom again.
3. First year really doesn’t count. Anyone who knows where the library is in their first year is doing it wrong. You should aim to scrape 40% and you should only begin to worry about doing this a week before your exams when you realise you’ve forgotten what course you do.
4. Dirt becomes part of the furniture. Two weeks into your second year you’ll be horrified to realise how quickly kitchens get filthy, but between nights out and that one lecture you attend a week there really is no time to clean it…
5. Clothes shopping will become a distant memory. The high expectations you had of all the great things you could buy with your loan are quickly dashed when you realise fat frogs and quadvods are far more important.
6. You’ll never procrastinate more. Exam time brings a level of insanity nobody can quite comprehend. You’ll suddenly find yourself stalking people on Facebook you didn’t even remember existed and you’ll becomes so obsessed with a new series you’ll start believing the characters are real people.
7. Don’t bother naming your cheese. Nobody cares who that sandwich belongs to when they crawl back into halls at 4am, and leaving an angry post-it note on the fridge isn’t going to stop them.
6. Student prices just mean shit quality. Don’t get too excited by the fact your double vodka costs £2 and a beer is 90p, this just means that your “double” is half full and your drink is 60% water.
7. Krazyhouse really isn’t “Liverpool’s number one student venue”. Fresher’s week consists of being lured into venues such as Hippy Chick because you’re scared of the promoters shouting “FREE SHOT” at you.
8. Everyone knows everyone. Nothing stays a secret, ever. People will probably know at least one person you’ve slept with before you even meet them. And that boy you really want to avoid from fresher’s week? Yeah… he’ll end up living next door.
9. Your relationship won’t last. Long distant relationships suck. There are the odd exceptions that manage to maintain a healthy relationship from afar, but chances are three months in you’re going to find yourself blind drunk and in the corner of the Raz with a stranger.
10. You’ll do anything for a discount. If it’s on offer, it’s definitely a saving so you’ll buy it, along with items you don’t even like just because they’ve been reduced by 60p. And just for the record, a Tesco Meal Deal is NOT a good saving.
You’ve probably realised student life isn’t too dissimilar from being homeless and an alcoholic by now. But hey, it’s great.