The worst advice from Daily Mirror readers to Leeds students forced to isolate in halls

No access to food or laundry facilities? Quit uni and get a real job

Self-isolating in halls? Uni leaving you high and dry with no access to food or washing machines? Readers of this Daily Mirror article, where a student at Devonshire halls at the University of Leeds reported his current dire living situation, are here to offer some truly charming suggestions of exactly what students should do to survive starvation, and maybe even the virus.

In the article last week, the Daily Mirror tells us freshers in Uni of Leeds halls have been banned from communal facilities, denied help with food shopping, and told to wash their socks in the sink if they hope to survive isolation.

Having carefully read and considered these almost unliveable conditions that first-year students have been plunged into following a total of uhhh… slim-to-none… help from uni, some thoughtful readers have taken the time out of their busy schedules to tell us why we should grow up, and get over it.

Apparently, students aren’t allowed to use bins for alcohol anymore

You think you’re smart enough to go to university? AAAh, well at least we’re smart enough to know that we are in fact, GEN Z thank you very much.

“Just have a Lemsip and get to Morry’s,” says new government advice from minister madpom01.

And we don’t value personal hygiene

Another important tip, ensure you subscribe to the student narrative decided by the over 50s who haven’t met a student since they went to visit their mate Dave in Leicester in ’66. Even if there’s a global pandemic, stay dirty, always.

This culinary tip might upset Jamie Oliver

Short, snappy, a hint of dominance. I’d like it if it weren’t for the fact that doing this every day for two weeks would require taking out a second student loan and an exceptionally high tolerance to dairy.

It’s sometimes unclear whether readers are asking questions or just making statements…

My personal favourite. How could anyone forget, the mystical wand that is the iPhone, notorious for its supernatural ability to convert over-flowing bins into a two-week supply of food?

For that strongly worded advice your therapist was just too scared to give you

Do whom the good … the innocent, half-starved freshers? The pizza delivery service? The local rats of Devonshire hall?

If what you want is validation of your experience…

This considerate reader was so swept up in the emotional onslaught of hearing about these poor freshers that they missed the crucial bit pointing out that isolating students have been barred from washing machines. Bedroom sinks do not count as laundry facilities. I repeat they do NOT count as laundry facilities.

And now, from Daily Mirror readers who’ve battled through trenches to gain access to a Facebook account…

Ah, the war. Always back to the war with boomers, isn’t it? As far as I’m aware, the soldiers of the first world war were conscripted and not paying nine thousand a year to be trapped in a bedroom in the middle of a global pandemic. Bit different but go off I guess, Judy.

Some advice from your online careers advisor

As this tip doesn’t come accompanied with any commas, it’s hard to say what this cryptic message really means. Perhaps we read “obviously not quit uni”?

I don’t think this is something they sell at Morrison’s

Rent a mommy? Am I missing something? Did they add another category on Tinder?

So, after all that wholesome advice, are you feeling better yet?

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• Uni of Leeds tells self-isolating freshers to wash their socks in the sink

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