Leeds uni is offering ’emergency food boxes’, and they’re literally a joke
Yum, can’t wait for my banana and baked bean pasta
In an attempt to be a force for good, the University of Leeds is offering “self-isolation food boxes” to students locked in their homes due to Covid-19. The box totals £10.44 according to the Tesco’s website, and includes almost no ingredients which can be combined to make an even slightly enjoyable meal.
What’s worse, uni is even offering the chance to add two frozen meals on for £10 if you don’t fancy a rice and banana curry, which some would call an absolute rip off.
We weren’t about to take these vital resources away from students who actually need them, so thought we’d rinse it from afar. Here’s what you get inside:
Coming in with a decent start, at least you’re gonna be able to have beans on toast. Brown isn’t for everyone, but I guess uni is just really concerned for our health, so much so they included no vegetables in this box.
Fine. So the toast won’t be dry. But considering at £1.49 this is the most expensive thing in the box, I think we’re in for a shite few meals.
Winner, winner, scrambled eggs on toast for dinner! (And breakfast, and lunch, and all of your snacks).
Actual solid choice from uni here. Bananas not only provide a great start to your morning, but the skins can be used as a slip and slide in your flat kitchen to prevent you all from dying of boredom.
Bit of vitamin C and corona will be gone before you can say “I want my 9k a year back”.
Long life milk
Its the 24 month shelf-life for me. Side note: £1.10? Rip-off.
2 porridge sachets
TWO whole porridge sachets!! Coming in at 20p each, according to Tesco, uni has really treated us to a filling and boujee breakfast with this one.
One rice sachet. Almost as useless as giving us a single grain of rice, Leeds.
3 mini cereal boxes
These are made for four-year olds and one box simply is not enough for a normal adult to eat for breakfast. Also, someone’s gotta have the cornflakes, and I don’t want it to be me.
3 instant soup sachets
Honestly get in the bin.
Tin of beans
Saving this for beans on toast, the only elite combo possible with these ingredients.
Tin of tuna
When we searched for “tuna tin” on Tesco’s website it only showed us cat food.
Tin of tomatoes
Come on, a single tin of tomatoes seems a little stingy, uni. But, at least you may be able to rustle something up with the crusty spices you have in your cupboard and pour it onto your single sachet of rice.
At this point, the only pasta topping we’ve got left is mushy banana.
At least you can bury your quarantine sadness under a pile of Digestive crumbs.
Uni really providing us with the health good heres. Spoiling us with that 45p packet of own-brand bourbons. Not complaining though.
To be fair, everyone knows Lucozade cures all manner of health sins. Including the brutal hangover you’ll have every morning from trying to soothe your cough with Sambuca the night before.