Everything you know to be true if you’re a mature student at uni

Mature students are not all your mom’s age. Some of us look like they fit right into the age group of their year but just use a lot of anti-wrinkle cream. A mature student could be twenty-one and upwards. As a mature student life could be about partying if it weren’t for the bills, work, uni deadlines, cooking dinner, taking care of your partner and most important: SLEEP.

You will always been the oldest person in the room

A group of girls walking into the lecture buzzing over how they were dancing and grinding three hours ago in Players, no sleep required when being eighteen and going to University in Leeds. I am not one of those girls unfortunately. I know, for a second you though that was me dancing on the bar, but it was not me. At the age of twenty-four I am proud to say I am the mother of cats. No dragons involved but they could be, lets be honest. Twenty-four and oldest in most of my lectures where classmates stroll in from a night out, still a little bit drunk.

Life of a fresher at twenty three, got a hoody to prove it.

You'll probably be living with your SO

My partner and I decided to move in together since it is the most obvious thing to do when you’re approaching your mid-twenties (we are very much in love and it was the thing we both wanted but there’s also the expectations of society playing a part in what you want of course). Even though you are with the person you love and you are building up a relationship, you are also each others shoulder to cry on, rock to hold onto and hand to feed. The days of coming home and eating last night’s leftovers are over, there are no more leftovers, we ate them all or I packed them for my partner’s lunch to save money. No more take-aways because we did that when we were nineteen and are still trying to lose the pounds we gained during those beautiful times. Lets face it, we are getting too old to pretend we are nineteen.

Leftovers all ready for lunch

You'll finally understand why your mum moans about the bills so much

Student finances pay the University fees and the roof I’m living under but little did I know how much water costs. Little did I know in England water contains pure gold and makes you poop diamonds. Little did I know electricity is not supposed to be used because the side effect is not being able to eat for a week. And don’t even get me started on Virgin Media, I switched to BT, lets keep it at that. Without any jokes, life is expensive.

Estimated bill my arse

You'll become a crazy cat lady

Of course I wanted cats, my partner already had one and a cat needs a friend. I have had cats in the past, my mom and dad still take care of my cat. How hard can it be to take care of a cat, right? They don’t need to be walked, they have their cat litter and sleep a lot. Wrong. Somehow our cats need Sheba food because one is allergic to all other food and the other refuses to eat anything cheaper than Sheba or Felix’s ‘as good as it looks’. For anyone who does not know any of these cat brands: I don’t even eat food as expensive as these two little monstrous demons. The first time I cried moving to Leeds to go to University was when I saw the bill of my cat’s check up, keep in mind that I have two. I cry a lot.

Cats everywhere

You're considered 'too old' for typical uni jobs

With all of those bills, living in the dark and no diamonds coming out, I decided it was time for a job. I applied for at least 40 vacancies in the space of a month. Unfortunately, when you’re twenty-four you are very expensive. 36 of my applications have never reached their destination I’d like to believe, because we live in the 21st century and age-discrimination is so 20th century.

I got one interview completely based on the fact that I am Dutch and the job was a retail assistant at a high end sex shop, and another at the company my partner worked for. They were desperate for new people they made an exception and hired me as a twenty-three year old to become a retail assistant. But hey, it's a job right?

Beauty sleep is a real thing guys

I remember being nineteen and spending most of my nights in pubs, clubs and afterparties. I have to be honest, I would not go back even if I could but the sound of no responsibilities does sound very appealing every now and then. Staying up until six, grab an hour of sleep and rolling myself to school was and is a normal routine for the average student. But when you’re reaching your mid-twenties you have had too many hangovers and learned too much from your mistakes to repeat that routine, let alone that you are simply too old. Without my minimum of seven hours of sleep a night my body won’t let me go to University and that would be a waste of the nine thousand pounds I’m paying out of the loan I will never be able to repay. Without my seven hours of sleep (I would actually like to change that to nine) I turn into that person who you do not like to spend time with, ever. Without my nine hours of sleep I turn into a middle-aged mom who you pissed off by offending her kid.

You really are living the good life

I chose to start Uni, knowing I was about five years older than any of my class mates. I chose to move in with my partner that same year. I chose to get a second cat, knowing that that means scooping twice as much poop. I chose the life I live and I would choose it all over again because it is honestly the good life. I don’t have to worry about getting ready for a night out to find love (or a one-night stand). I don't have to live with five other people of which there will always be that one person who pissed you off more than you could ever have imagined when you met them in your first year of Uni. I don’t have to be alone, ever, because I have got two cats who will never leave me alone even if I wanted them to. I have got the perfect boring life of a woman in her mid-twenties rolling into her second year of University.

Oh! and I’ve got plants. No real ones yet because they will die. I recommend starting with a cactus, they never die, no matter how many times you forget to water them.