What it’s like to date an identical twin

“Have you ever accidentally got off with the wrong one?”

Funnily enough, no. I have not, and I’m pretty sure “the wrong one” would notice if I tried to make a move and point me in the right direction.

This is one of the whole host of questions I get asked because my girlfriend has an identical twin.

No threesomes allowed

Other questions include:

“Would you have a threesome?”

No.

“Do you fancy the other one?”

Also no. I’ve got one as a girlfriend, I don’t need another.

The threesome line was actually her icebreaking line at the awkward first pre-drinks during Freshers week: “Hi, I’m Caitlyn, I have a twin, but we don’t do threesomes.” I knew before I started going out with her that a threesome wasn’t going to happen, and understandably on her part. I mean, that’s her sister.

They avoid doing their hair the same to look more different

People are fascinated at the prospect of someone going out with a twin. To me, it’s not that fascinating. They’re two different people, with different personalities and, as identical as they are, there really are some differences in how they look and speak.

Although I say that they look and sound different, though, there have been a few times where I’ve embarrassingly got them confused. Once, walking behind them in the park, I got them confused and went to hold the hand of the wrong one. I quickly realised my error and swapped sides without them noticing. It wasn’t my fault- they were wearing similar outfits and had their hair in the same way (something they try and avoid).

Another occasion was arriving at my girlfriend’s flat, only for the other twin to answer the door. I started a conversation with who I thought was my girlfriend. It was only when I realised the confusion that I shouted “fuck, wrong twin” and acknowledged my mistake. In my defence they didn’t used to live in the same flat, so there was room for confusion.

Which one’s which

In the past, I’ve always had to introduce them to my friends I have to make sure that everyone knows who’s who before things get confusing and someone tries to pull the wrong one.

Even so, if my friend and the other twin get it on, he would’ve had sex with someone who looks exactly like my girlfriend – which, for me, is unsuprisingly awkward. Although weirdly now the other twin has a boyfriend, I don’t see it that way.

If you ever thought twin telepathy wasn’t a thing, think again. The mind of a twin is strange – it’s weird how often they’ll suddenly look at each other and say the same thing in sync. Not long after I started going out with my girlfriend, I was warned that the other twin can sense when things aren’t right in a relationship and knows when my girlfriend isn’t “feeling it”. Luckily I’ve passed that test so far, although it does mean I can’t fuck anything up.

The tragedy of twins in the same outfit

There is something strangely indescribable about the connection between twins. It’s extremely confusing and just a bit odd. As freshers they both did the same course at the same uni – to anyone who’s not a twin that’s just bizarre.

Do they not have different interests? Apparently not, but to them that’s completely normal. The connection is so close they tend to walk into each others’ bedrooms without knocking, which often results in me having to do a  quick jump under the covers and my girlfriend shouting for her not to come in.

This connection is something I’ll never come between. Never mind the other twin third-wheeling me and my girlfriend – I’m third-wheeling my girlfriend and her twin.

Sometimes it’s like having two girlfriends. I have to look after both of them and make both of them happy when they’re down. This includes Valentine’s Day and going shopping with both of them. Seriously, shopping with one is bad enough.

All in all going out with a twin is fun, but rather strange when you think about it.

Although not as strange as the people who keep asking about threesomes.