Cat-mania: why the latest emerging trend on campus needs to go

Students have been harnessed by an addiction stronger than house music… CATS. This pawsitively uncool trend needs to go- argues PEG DAVISON.

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A very disturbing epidemic has hit Leeds. Amongst the mass of Nikes and nose-rings, a totally unforeseen trend has emerged.

That’s right: Leeds students have been harnessed with an addiction stronger than house music… CATS.

A victim of the cat fetish in the
first stages – purchasing of merchandise

This feline obsession is just one of many niche trends in Leeds that people invest in, in order to stand out/look edgy in some way.

Why are people becoming too afraid to dress in an unremarkable way? When did it become to mean more if you’re not dressed in something bizarre than if you are? I could pin a tail to my bum and be noticed less than if I was in just jeans and a jersey.

Far from purrfect…

A huge symptom of this virus seems to be the purchasing and exhibition of cat apparel. The poor victims of this disorder seem to believe highly garish large prints of cats on their clothes is acceptable, even attractive attire.

Pawsitively uncool.

The question is: what will happen next? A highly disturbing firsthand incident gave me an answer. A LIVE CAT invaded our house 2 nights ago: our supposed safe havens are becoming contaminated – nowhere is safe any longer!

How did it get in I hear you ask? Well, someone had left the front door open. But I’m fairly certain I heard the words “We’re taking over” hiss from it.

The trespassing cat begins to inflict my housemate with cat mania sickness

There has never been a more critical time to rebuke the phrase ‘as cool as a cat’, it has been taken far too literally.

More to the point, the cat infatuation is an ugly way to cover up a crazy and ultimately insatiable desire to fit in by standing out in Leeds.

How can we begin reversing this craze? We’re all thinking it, time to answer Baha Men’s age old question of ‘Who Let The Dogs Out?’ with ‘We did.’