Genius Strathclyde tops uni poll for academic excellence

It’s about time they won something

Ex-poly Strathclyde have beaten rivals to scoop the top uni gong for academic excellence. 

Smart students at Strathy have bested the competition in the Ralf Pisolo Higher Education League and earned the prestigious title of number one uni in the country.

Listed among their achievement highlights were the Art and Design department for teaching their students how to use crayons and glitter — and the class of 2014 as 11 graduates managed an impressive 2.2.

Despite previous failures to beat Glasgow and Glasgow Caley in sporting events, Strathy have eventually overcome the chip on their shoulders.

The solid employment prospects were also applauded as one lucky grad has made it as a farmer and another as a shelf-stacker in the Sauchiehall Street Tesco.

A proud spokesperson said: “We’re very proud to be crowned the best university in the UK and we hope to continue our success in the coming years.

“Our courses are much sought after and being the best university in Glasgow is certainly something we would like to publicise.

“The students of Strathclyde are among the brightest in the world, with achievements including star story writing, correct spelling of names and remembering full stops at the end of sentences.

“Long may our reign continue over our rival universities.”

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