Here’s what Christmas song your Exeter Uni accommodation is, based on pure vibes

The temperature has dropped, snow is falling (barely), and, as if turning on the heating wasn’t bad enough, now your electricity bill is strained under the weight of those twinkly Poundland Christmas lights you’ve strung up in your bedroom. That’s right — it’s the festive season, which means festive music. 

We’ve all got our favourites, whether it’s your standard Michael Bublé, or perhaps something a little more rogue (All I Want for Christmas is You — Soulja Boy Crank That Remix, anyone?) Get ready to deck the halls with carpet cleaner, because today, in true Exeter Tab fashion, we’re comparing carols with condos, and giving you the Christmas song that matches the vibe of you Exeter Uni accommodation.

Driving Home for Christmas: Duryard

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and absolutely nobody could be bothered to trek back to Duryard from Unit 1, so we all crashed in East Park instead. You might as well book an Apple Taxi at this rate, because if you’re residing in the Duryard halls of residence, you’re further from town than club bouncers are from Santa’s nice list. Still, Christmas is about spending time with those you love. So, at least you get to visit every other accommodation, as you fail to beg your mates to trek to your halls for pres – for once.

All I Want for Christmas is You: East Park

Besides both being massively popular, there’s one other thing Mariah Carey’s number one Christmas anthem and East Park have in common — they’re both the enemy of the retail shopper. Either we’re hearing Mariah belt out those notes in Tesco for the third time today, or facing East Park’s glorious steps with five bags full of shopping — the charm of both may inevitably wear off over time. But hey, Christmas is here, and you’ve managed to bag a solid accommodation. Who’s complaining? 

Walking in a Winter Wonderland: Birks Grange Village

Whilst not quite in a “wonderland”, Birks residents will certainly be doing quite a bit of walking – up Cardiac Hill, in the cold, at 8am. Bonus points if it actually snows, just don’t slip!

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: Mardon Hall

Arguably, this song could go to any Exeter halls with a tiny population. Replace “Mommy” and “Santa Claus” with your two flatmates, and then we’re talking. Flatcest amongst such a small group of students such as those in Mardon Hall is as inevitable as unwrapping socks on Christmas Day. Bonus points if they have each other for Secret Santa — in which case, those suspiciously above-budget pressies are a sure sign. Let’s just hope it doesn’t all end in tears, else it’ll start sounding a bit more like our next Christmas tune…

Lonely this Christmas: Old Laf

It will indeed be lonely this Christmas, if you’re living in Old Lafrowda. Whilst it definitely doesn’t deserve all the hate it gets, Old Laf certainly doesn’t score points for its brick exterior (and interior). Also, no one’s really ever lonely with those picturesque shared bathrooms. 

Last Christmas: Point Exe

Topping the “Christmas heartbreak” category of festive jingles, Last Christmas resonates with residents of Point Exe and their sorrow in having a good 25 minute walk, uphill, away from campus. A bit like Birks and Duryard, but a little better, considering town isn’t quite the trek and hey, Fever’s right on the doorstep (for all the freshers who can’t get enough of it). At least you can all bond as you reminisce on what could have been.

I Wish it Could be Christmas Every Day: Lafrowda

Just as Wizzard hoped for, living at Lafrowda might have us wishing for party after party — but just like Huey, Dewey and Louie realise in the festive classic Donald Duck: Stuck on Christmas, Christmas (and/or partying) every day isn’t such a great thing. When it’s midweek in deadline season and the pounding beat of next door’s DnB pres is still a nightly occurrence, you realise you have to be careful what you wish for.

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Holland Hall

When your morning view is that good, it’s probably the most wonderful time of the year, all year. Just like the classic Christmas track, Holland is full to bursting with those of you desperate to have a wonderful time — sponsored by Mummy and Daddy’s generous donations. Christmas is the season for giving, after all.

Let it snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!: Penny C

Lest we say more?

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• Here’s exactly which Uni of Exeter halls you belong in based on your overall vibe
• Here’s six things you’ll only know if you lived in East Park at Exeter
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