Ins and Outs: The ultimate Edinburgh Uni guide

2024 is unanimously everyone’s year: No more “rot girl winter,” no more taking a temporary break from slaying. This is the one, I can feel it. So, this begs the question:

What’s going to make this year at Edi INCREDIBLE, or in other words, what’s in, and what’s out?

Out: Not knowing how to cook basic meals

No more takeaways every other night, no more leaving crusty pans in your shared sinks, no more claiming you just “don’t know how to cook”. We’re adults now, you can literally google free recipes, no expensive cook book necessary. Lidl exists and it’s cheaper than Deliveroo. We’re acquiring life skills in 2024.

In: Personal style over conforming to specific aesthetics

I predict the death of the pollock girl starter pack that is the skinny scarf and cowboy boot combo. I’m sensing the ditching of goofy micro aesthetics such as mob wife and rockstar girlfriend, and the development of individual style.

Look ! Hat !

I’m praying for HATS in 2024 – bring back Keira Knightly’s baker boy cap from Love Actually I PRAY.

Choose your fighter. Also maybe 0.5 photos are out? Feel like the joke’s over, not to hate on myself but…

Out: Minimalism, especially as an excuse for boy flats not having any decor whatsoever

I swear to all that is holy, if I see another boy flat that looks like it’s just been moved into when in reality they’ve lived there for two years – I will scream. “It’s minimalism”, no babe, minimalism doesn’t include 17 cups and four dishes on various surfaces around your room.

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Print off some pictures of your friends at boots, it costs like £3, and stick them to a wall. Any wall. “Oh no, my deposit”, yeh, no, your deposit left the building when you hung up a darts board that promptly fell and smashed your skirting board. Take the hit.

In: Explicit graphic tee’s

I am requesting a rise in people wearing absolutely wild slogan tee’s to the main lib. I’m thinking the classics like, I <3 Milfs/Dilfs, but also just really random ones. Be creative. This would also make you more identifiable on Match Making Monday’s too, so it has it’s benefits.

Out: Lying on your extension application

Am I offensively guilty of this? Yes. Will I stop doing it? I’m an optimist, who can say? It’s good to have goals.

In: Talking to your crushes in real life

As much as talking to people online is easier, I think 2024 is gonna be a big year of just meeting people in person. Taking a chance, potentially being rejected, but who cares? It’s literally 2024. It’s not that deep. Library crush? Ask them if they want to grab an Upland Roast coffee. Tutorial crush? Ask them if they want to meet up and study or something. The worst they can do is say no, and believe it or not, the world will keep spinning if they do. Fuck it.

Out: Shaming people for being into crystals and astrology 

It’s out, I’m sorry, but it is. It’s simply degrading and immature, and I’m bored of it. Like, you saying astrology is stupid isn’t going to stop people from liking it, so. Get a grip? Like I think sports are silly, but that doesn’t mean I have a disrespect for people who play them? Stop being rude, touch some grass baby cakes x

Look how cute she looks here <3

Like I think sports are silly, but that doesn’t mean I have a disrespect for people who play them? Stop being rude, touch some grass baby cakes x

In: Being silly

I’m thinking, doing things for the giggles. Not doing things for the plot – that’s a different thing. I mean, going to Big Cheese dressed as a big cheese. I want to see people bringing the most outrageous library snacks imaginable.

The feral nature of this photograph is too ludicrous for my comprehension. Dry tortilla as a lib snack. DRY. I’m upset. It’s funny though I like it.

I want there to be the introduction of various random societies – Edinburgh now has a garlic bread society? Sign me up. This is the energy I want.

Out: Drinking water orally

Unless you’re absorbing your water through osmosis, then I’m afraid you’re stuck in 2023 and I don’t want to know you. Imagine having a water bottle when you can just go and stand barefoot in a puddle. So last year babe x

In: Edinburgh School of Divinity Library

It closes at 5pm so you have to get up early to make a productive day of it, but we love the old architecture high ceiling vibes. Makes a nice change to the insane rush to get a seat in Main Lib during exam season. It’s so peaceful.

Life is too short to have your sinuses dried out by the Main Lib’s heating vents.

Out: Scabies and any other viral diseases 

Tonsilitis? Strep throat? Conjunctivitis? I’m done. You lot are feral and need to wear hazmat suits if you’re going to go to the club with these things. Refreshers Flu is real and someone needs to be held responsible. No amount of Lemsip can save me. The cold might go but the memory of pain is forever.

In: Leaving the night out early to get food

The best part of the night out are, number one: The pres, and number two: The food on the way home. The actual dancing is fun for an hour or two max but nothing can beat the absolute waffle that is chatted at the pre drinks and the undecipherable mumbling whilst I inhale my cheesy chips. Those moments are sacred.

Why prolong the LED limbo that is the club when you can have snack time?

Out: Wearing sunglasses to the club

Especially if they have writing on them saying “kiss me” or “fuck off”. It was fun, we did it, but let’s just have a good night without it being interrupted every three minutes by someone stealing your glasses in a weird play ground flirting technique.

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