A scientific breakdown of what your Edi flat location says about you

We can’t all live in Marchmont

Moving to University can be daunting, especially in an unfamiliar city. After spending first year confined to halls, getting the chance to find your own place can be equally as exciting as the first big move itself. While you may be worried about the number of bedrooms, possible mouse infestations or proximity to a Sainbury’s local, the most important thing that can make or break your flat is location. The divide between Edi areas is immense with the loyalties to our own area being strong enough to make or break friendships. So, to put it to rest once and for all, here is a very scientific breakdown of what your Edinburgh location says about you.


Look at you, cool kid! While Marchmont may essentially be Pollock 2.0, it’s home to the coolest flats, funky living spaces and beautiful views of the Meadows. It may only be a second year flat, but its far away enough from Halls to make you feel like a proper adult. You’ve thrown away the traditional Pollock flares and invested in several pairs of wide leg trousers. No more do you need to wait in line at the JMCC. You can make your own Sunday fry up now, complete with avocado toast (lets be real, every day is avocado day in Marchmont) in your spacious kitchen (at least one of the hobs is broken, but we won’t talk about that). Everyone knows you’ve lucked out in the flat game, mostly because you won’t shut up about it. Everyone puts up with it because you can just about fit all your friends together in the lounge.


Like getting value for money do we? Sciennes’ value is being the scary alleyway between Newington and Marchmont. You may have lucked out and gotten a Meadows facing flat, but for those of you who didn’t, there’s not really any redeeming qualities here. If you live in Sciennes, we can assume you live for the sesh as its the perfect location for those who don’t plan on spending much time at home. While it may be mostly bins and school children, Sciennes is certainly home to a stronger class of Edi student, and no doubt your time here will be character building, to say the least. You certainly have a dark and mysterious air about you since moving in, and while you’ve no doubt got some spooky secrets, I’m not sure if anyone will be brave enough to stick around to find them out.


Cheese makes everything better

Newington is the standard choice for the second year flat, and we must applaud you for making the jump (albeit, a small one) out of halls. Newington flats may be the life of the party, but considering just how many pubs and bars are around you, no doubt you’ll soon be ready for the party to end. Securing a flat right above Southsider might have seemed like the cooooolllest idea last year, but when you are inevitably woken up by a pub fight in the wee small hours before your 9am, you might regret your past choices. Having speedy access to the shopping wonders of South Clerk street is a bonus, but maybe not to the point of sacrificing a workable kitchen. Despite its downfalls, at least you’ve got the Bargain Store, right?

New Town

Even though the second year flat is all moving up and on, you may have taken this a step too far. We can’t all be so bold as to choose proximity to Garibaldi’s over University. While you might be limited to only seeing the four other people you know that live near you, they’ll be sure to share your New Town sensibilities. While the ceilings may be low and the hallways skinny, the fact that you could justify a walk home from Why Not is worth it for you. You use your Bucky as a mixer for Prosecco and actually manage to look good in club photos. None of us on this side of the mound quite understand how you manage to do it, but we can dream that one day we will be invited to one of your flat parties.

Old Town

In moving to Scotland, you wanted the full Scottish experience, and there is no better way to get just that than by living in Old Town. Sure, maybe the incessant bagpiping will haunt your dreams for many years after you’ve graduated from Uni, but it’s fun right?? You get to see tourists experiencing the beautiful city you call your home for the very first time, and you can help them to create lasting memories as you are stopped to take photos for every single one on your way to lectures. Even though the noise never stops, your flat is no doubt seeped in as much culture as the castle itself: rat infestations equal to those of the plague. You’re close to Cowgate which is a mega win, especially considering none of your friends will ever be brave enough to cross the mile to come visit.


So much hallway, so little time

While London kids chose to move to Edinburgh to get as far away from their families as possible, moving to Bruntsfield takes this to a new level. The rest of us were able to carry our boxes out from Pollock on foot, but you no doubt will have had to spring for a maxi taxi. It’s what the majority of your student loan is spent on for the foreseeable future. Sure, the Bruntsfield flats are definitely larger (and possibly nicer) than anything on the other side of the Meadows, but is an extra box room really worth having to face a family of children hungover on a Sunday afternoon? Just because you have the option to spend £25 on brunch doesn’t mean you should.


We can’t all be Marchmont, can we? Maybe you left the flat search too late or an offer fell through, but something along the way must have gone a little bit wrong for you to have ended up where you are. There’s nothing explicitly wrong with living in Morningside, but its like the slightly smaller, slightly less popular little brother of the other areas. Major side character energy. Maybe you’ll luck out and be the really cool sidekick character that everyone likes more and ends up with a spin off show, but considering just how far Morningside is from main campus, probably not.


Does this even count as Edinburgh anymore?


Mayfield is another one of the areas where a seeming convenience actually ends up being a big pain in the ass. You might have Cameron Toll on the rest of us, but I’m not sure that anyone was trying to fight you on that in the first place. Spending money on bus fairs is a way of life for you now, but at least the cute old ladies that live next door to you are friendly. Until they grass you out to the police for having one too many friends over past 10pm on a Friday night.


For those of us who loved Riego street so very much, they didn’t want to leave. Tollcross is almost the cool, indie area of Edinburgh, but being so close to Princes Street, as well as main campus, it very quickly manages to lose some of its cool factor. It may have the benefit of only being a quick walk away from ECA, but no one is going to see your fire art school fit on the way, so what’s even the point?

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